FOREVER VIRGIN???

SO IN TRUE BLOOD SEASON 6, JESSICA

--------------------MAKES LOVE----------------

WITH A VAMPIRE, FOR THE FIRST TIME.

WELL, BILL MADE HER A VAMPIRE CAUSE HE MADE A BET WITH ERIC NORTHMAN, IN THE END BILL GETS THE GIRL: JESSICA.

HA.
BAD JOKE.

SOMETHING LIKE IT. SO BILL IN HIS STUPID AND HONESTLY PURE IMPULSIVITY, POSSIBLY DRIVEN BY LUST FOR BLOOD AND LUST FOR LUST AND LUST FOR LIFE.

SO THE BAD THING HERE IS: JESSICA WAS VIRGIN WHEN HE WAS MADE VAMPIRE. AND AS VAMPIRES CAN HEAL FROM WOUNDS.

TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!

JESSICA WON THE LOTERY AND IS NOW

--------------VIRGIN FOREVER-----------------

WE FOUND OUT WHEN JESSICA FIRST GOT LAID WITH ANOTHER... """BEAR CUB"""
HERS NOT MINE (((SHE DOESN'T PROBABLY WANT THE TRUE DEATH, PLUS I LIKE HER)))

SO HER BEAR CUB GOT HER LAID FOR THE SECOND TIME IN LIFE AND.

WHAT THE HELL???!!!

SHE WAS VIRGIN AGAIN.

SO MY BEAR CUB OFTEN SAYS.
"INSTEAD OF CONDOMS, SHE SHOULD CARRY IN HER PURSE A LITTLE KNIFE WITH SILVER ON THE BLADE. SO SHE COULD MAKE A CROSS CUT IN THAT, YOU KNOW.... """MEMBRANE""", AND HER PROBLEM WOULD BE MORE EASIER TO TAKE. DON'T YOU THINK??? I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN GETTING THAT MEMBRANE BROKEN WITH THE ALTERNATIVE MALE WEAPON ANYTIME SHE HAS SEX. THAT'S WHAT I THINK... THAT WOULD BE BETTER, NOT???"

SOMETIMES I GET RED, OR MUTE OR I LAUGH, BUT I'VE HEARD ALL THIS A LOT OF TIMES.

-_-'  SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHIT  :S

VERSACE IS GONNA RESURRECT???!!! O.0 ???

SO WE WERE WATCHING TRUE BLOOD SEASON 6.

AND AT SOME POINT THE SHIFTER STARTED FLIRTING (??? IS THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP STATUS) WITH AN AFROAMERICAN GIRL. WELL THIS GIRL LOOKS LIKE JANET JACKSON LIKE MORE THAT 20 YEARS AGO.

WHAT THE CUB SAID???

"THE 80'S ARE BACK!"

"I KNOW THAT" I SAID WITH LOW VOICE.

AND THEN WE LAUGHED.

SO MY STUD SAID.

"LOOK: SUPER 8, THE CARRIE DIARIES, THIS GIRL ON TRUE BLOOD, TRANSFORMERS... THE ONLY THING LEFT IS THE INEVITABLE RESURRECTION OF VERSACE!!!"

GOD THAT GUY DID HAVE BAD TASTE BACK IN THE 80'S...

"I LOVE THE MAFIA LOOK OF VERSACE'S CLOTHES, LIKE THE GODFATHER MEETS TYLER DURDEN FROM THE FIGHT CLUB, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. WELL THE GUY WAS ITALIAN, NOTHING TO DO ABOUT IT"

SAID THE CUB.SHOULDERS UP.

HERE SOME SAMPLES.

BAD TASTE

GODFATHER MEETS TYLER DURDEN

 

 

FRUSTRATED INVESTIGATION ABOUT SECOND IMPACT -_-'

SO IT WAS AFTERNOON AND WE WERE SLEEPING. THE CUB HUGGING ME. THE ONLY THING I DON'T LIKE ABOUT ALL THE MUSCLE MASS HE HAS IS... HE CAN'T SLEEP OVER ME.

CAUSE HE WEIGHS A TON.

PLUS AT SOME POINT HIS CHEST CAN'T TAKE HIS WEIGHT AND HE WAKES UP TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE.

SO HE WOKE UP AND SAID.
"YOU'RE ALWAYS AWAKE AND LOOKING AT ME WHEN I WAKE UP. GUESS I'VE SEEN YOU SLEEPING ONCE IN MY LIFE..."

"YOU SLEPT WELL?"

"YES I SLEEP WELL NOW. I DIDN'T BEFORE, REMEMBER?"

"I DO" I SAID. "YOU HAD NIGHTMARES. AND YOU WOULD WAKE UP WHILE SLEEPING, TRYING TO BREATHE, YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD APNEA... ALL AND ALL THIS REMINDS ME OF..."

"OF WHAT?" HE SAID

"MISATO KATSURAGI AND THE SECOND IMPACT, YOU KNOW, SHE HAS SIMILAR PROBLEMS WHEN SHE SLEEPS..."

"AH... THAT" HIS EYES WENT BLANK. "LOOK I'M MID-SLEEPING, AND WAKING UP. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'M STUPID, SUGAR" HE PUT HIS LIPS OVER MINE AND SAID "I'LL TELL YOU NOTHING ABOUT SECOND IMPACT"

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WHEN HE TALKS OVER MY LIPS. OVERALL IN THAT SO SCARY WAY. LIKE I GET TRIPLE NERVOUS THAN USUAL. I LIKE THAT THRILL.

HOLD ME. THRILL ME. KISS ME. DON'T KILL ME :S

"TELL ME" I DEMANDED. HE KNOWS WHEN I TALK AND I DON'T ASK, BECAUSE IT IS AN ORDER.
"NO I WON'T"
"WHY NOT?"
"YOUR OWN SAFETY?"
"BUT I WANT TO KNOW!"
"BELIEVE ME. YOU DON'T..."
"C'MON!"

SO HE KISSED ME MORE...
AND THEN THERE'S A BLACKOUT.

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT SECOND IMPACT OR NOT?
HE IS RIGHT?
IT'S BETTER NOT TO KNOW?

SO HOW DOES A QUARTER OF POUND MAKE YOU FAT???

THAT'S WHAT MY BOYFRIEND ASKED WHEN I BIT MY FABULOUS QUARTER OF POUND WITH CHEESE AT MC'DONALDS.

WELL, BEFORE THAT, WE WERE IN THE QUEUE AND MY BOYFRIEND SAID, SMILING:

"WHO'S GONNA PAY?"

"C'MON" I ANSWERED. "THIS IS MC'DONALDS, NOT THE W HOTEL!!!"

"ISIDORA GOYENECHEA 3000" HE SAID LOOKING NOWHERE WITH EMPTY EYES.

??? O.o

"IF YOU PAY WITH COUPONS, I'LL CUT YOUR HEAD OFF" SAID HIM. SHOWING HIS TEETH. AND FROWNING. AND SMILING.

"SEEMS TO ME YOU CAN DO 1000 THINGS AT THE SAME TIME"

"YOU LOOK GOOD WHEN YOU DO HUMBLE" HE SAID.

"HUMBLE??? NO IT'S JUST... YOU PUT ME NERVOUS, YOU KNOW??? I MEAN. YOU KNOW THAT, DO YOU NOT?"

"YES I KNOW. I GET THAT A LOT. WITH OR WITHOUT WORDS. IT'S COOL IT HAPPENS TO YOU TOO, CONSIDERING YOUR HEIGHT AND BODY MASS... AND OVER-DEVELOPED PERSONALITY..."

"WHAT???"

HOW CAN HE SAY 1000 THINGS IN ONE SENTENCE???

SO THEN WE WERE EATING AND HE SAID IT.

"SO HOW DOES A QUARTER OF POUND MAKE YOU FAT???"

I SWALLOWED AND SAID...
"WHAT?"

"HONEY, A QUARTER OF LIBRA IS NEARLY 125 GRAMS, A LITTLE LESS EVEN. THAT'S WHAT THE QUARTER OF LIBRA IS SUPPOSED TO WEIGH. HOW CAN THAT LITTLE THING MAKE PEOPLE SO FAT???"

"I DUNNO, GUESS YOU HAVE TO EAT... MORE THATN ONE VERY OFTEN..."

SO HE BITED HIS BIG MAC AND SWALLOWED.
"BIG MAC IS WAY BETTER, YOU KNOW? BUT IT'S SMALL TOO, FOR HAVING SUCH A BIG NAME, AND 3 LAYERS OF BREAD PLUS 2 LAYERS OF FOOD. MAYBE IT'S BEEN DESIGNED THAT WAY"

"WHY YOU...? WHAT?"

"OF COURSE, SO IT CAN BE HANDLED WITH ONE HAND. AND AS THIS IS A FAST FOOD PLACE, USUALLY PEOPLE EAT THE BURGERS WALKING, WHEN THERE'S NO TIME TO SIT DOWN"

"SO WHEN YOU ENTER A BOOK STORE... WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT"

WE LAUGHED.

"IN YOU" HE SAID LAUGHING, "ONLY YOU". AND HE WENT ON "AS THEY DON'T SELL BEN COHEN CALENDARS IN CHILE, I ONLY THINK IN YOU"

"SURE..." SAID TRYING TO EAT WITHOUT LETTIN ALL THE FOOD FALL FROM MY MOUTH AS I LAUGHED.

SO HOW A DATE IN MC'DONALDS CAN BE ROMANTIC???
WE ARE MEN.

THAT'S ALL.

 

 

 

WELL... YES! WE WATCHED A BAD MOVIE... SO WHAT???

SO WHEN WE WATCH MOVIES TOGETHER, MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME CHOOSE FROM A GROUP OF MOVIES OR HE TELLS ME WE SHOULD SEE "THAT" MOVIE.

WELL. WHEN IT'S A GROUP OF MOVIES, AND """I""" HAVE THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL TO CHOOSE... IT ENDS UP THAT MY BOYFRIEND ALREADY KNEW THOSE WERE GOOD MOVIES, SO IT'S NOT LIKE """I""" CHOSE IT... A 100%

AND WHEN WE SHOULD SEE """"""THAT""""""" MOVIE, IT'S CAUSE THE MOVIE IS SO GOOD WE CAN'T MISS IT.

WELL. TIRED OF THIS GAME OF MAKING THE FOOL, PLAYING DEAD AND SWEET SUBTLE MANIPULATION FROM MY ---DEAR--- BOYFRIEND

AIMO, AIMO, BOYFRIEND*********

SO THIS TIME

I

DECIDED THE MOVIE WE WOULD SEE.

THE HELL I PUT THE FOOT. WHAT A BAD MOVIE!!!

SO THE MOVIE WE SAW IS CALLED "STRANDED".
THE ONLY REAL STAR THERE IS CHRISTIAN SLATER.

SO MY BOYFRIEND COULDN'T STOP TALKING ALL THE FILM.
IT WAS LIKE I WANTED TO TAKE TE PILLOW AND... ANYWAY.

HERE ARE SOME OF THE COMMENTARIES ABOUT THE FILM MADE BY THE CRITIC I APPRECIATE THE MOST: THE BEAR CUB : THE FIRE OF MY LOINS : MY STUD : MY BOYFRIEND.

·HONEY... YOU... LIKE? BAD MOVIES?
·IT'S INTERESTING HOW LOW BUDGET MOVIES CAN MAKE THE SETS LOOK SO GOOD.
·SO YOU LIKE BAD MOVIES? DO YOU? I'LL HAVE TO TAKE THIS KIND OF CRAP ON A MONTHLY BASIS?
·THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE GOOD, BUT NOT KINDA... "SPECIAL", YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???
·I THINK THE ONLY GOOD THING IN THIS MOVIE IS THE BLOOD...
·THIS CROSS BETWEEN ALIENS, AND AVATAR SOMETIMES WORKS.
·I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS MOVIE WAS BAD JUST BY KNOWING WHO STARRED... I MEAN THE ACTORS.
·THIS SHAKESPEAREAN LOOK IN CHRISTIAN LATER'S ATTITUDE IS KINDA WELL DONE.
·I'VE SEEN BETTER SLIME IN THE AWARDS OF NIKELODEON...
·HONEY, NOTHING IN THIS MOVIE MAKES SENSE...

SO IN THE END I SAID:
· ALRIGHT!!! THE MOVIE IS BAD!!! SO WHAT??? I CHOSE IT AND YOU AGREED, SO WE'LL WATCH IT TILL THE END. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

WHAT HE DID THEN? HE FOUND OUT HOW MUCH THE MOVIE WOULD LAST AND HOW MUCH PAIN HE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE LEFT, WATCHING IT. THEN HE ENTERED IN ALPHA STATE AND FELL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS.

WE USUALLY ENTER IN ALPHA STATE WHEN WE WATCH MOVIES. BUT WE DON'T FALL ASLEEP...

SO BAD WAS THE MOVIE :S ????

IT'S COOL TO WATCH HIM SLEEP.

I FOUND OUT MORE ABOUT SECOND IMPACT!!!

SO WE WERE SAT IN THE GRASS, AND MY STUD STARTED CUTTING OUT GRASS WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HE LOOKED SAD AND NOSTALGIC. WHEN HE GETS THAT WAY, I DON'T LIKE IT. AND I CANNOT REACH THAT PLACE WHERE HIS MIND GOES.

"REMEMBER THAT GUY THAT USED TO LOOK AT ME WITH WILLING EYES?" HE ASKED ALL OF A SUDDEN. I DID NOT WANT TO BREAK THAT SUDDEN SILENCE.

"WHICH ONE OF ALL???" I SAID.

"WELL... WE MADE A BET, REMEMBER? YOU SAID THERE WAS NO WAY THE GUY WOULD NOT TALK TO ME. SO WE BET MONEY..."

"YES????"

"YY---EAH. I BET YOU 100 BUCKS HE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME. YOU BET 100 BUCKS HE WOULD. AS I WAS SURE I WOULD WIN THE BET I TOLD YOU """IF THE GUY TALKS TO ME, I PAY YOU 100 BUCKS, BUT YOU LET ME FLIRT WITH HIM""". YOU THOUGHT IT 5 MINUTES AND SAID """OOO-KAY..."""

"AND?"

"HE FELL FOR ME"

"TO THE FLOOR???"

"NO. WORSE... IN LOVE"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"I SAW IT!"

"WHERE"

"IN HIS EYES..." SAID THE MUFFIN QUIETLY, THINKING.

"WHAT?!" ...THE HELL!!!

"IN HIS ATTITUDE TOO. SO IT TOOK ME A WEEK TO DECIDE I WOULD TRY TO SPEAK WITH HIM. I TRIED. FROM 25 TO 30 TIMES. BUT HE WOULD STAY STILL, CHANGE DIRECTION WHEN WALKING, AND PLAINLY ABOIDED ME, EVEN RUN AWAY..."

"SO I OWE YOU 100 BUCKS..."

"I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS HOW IT HAPPENNED. IT WASN'T COOL. IT WAS LIKE I WAS NOT SEXY OR SOMETHING. OR DEMONSTRATES HOW A GUY CAN FALL FOR ME, BUT NEVER SPEAK TO ME. IT FELT LIKE HE WAS SAYING I WAS UGLYER THAN MR. BEAN... "

AND HE ADDED----------

"...BESIDES. IT KINDA REMINDED ME ABOUT THE SECOND IMPACT..." HIS EYES WENT BRILLIANT BUT HE DID NOT CRY.

"GOD WAS INVOLVED IN THAT SHIT, RIGHT????" I ASKED.

"YES. HE WAS. I DON'T KNOW IF WHAT HE DID WAS ON PURPOSE. BUT IT WAS A MISTAKE... I'VE BEEN TOLD HE'S REGRETFUL ABOUT IT. LIKE HIS REGRET WOULD ERASE ALL THE PAIN..."

"BUT GOD IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD GUY???"

"HE IS... WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE. IT'S NOT COOL TO HAVE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU KNOW...

AND HE ADDED...
READ THIS:

"BESIDES HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LOT OF THINGS HE'S NOT"

"TELL ME MORE... " I SAID.

"IF I DON'T TALK TO YOU" HE SAID WITH EMPTY EYES, AND CUTTING SOME MORE GRASS WITH HIS HAND... "ABOUT IT... IT'S CAUSE... I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU"

I HUGGED HIM.
ALL OF A SUDDEN HE SPOKE WITH A BIG SMILE IN HIS EYES.

"I WANT A STARBUCKS HAZELNUT SKINNY LATTE!"

"WHY IT HAS TO BE SKINNY???"

"CAUSE... I... WANT TO BE SKINNY???"

"I HATE THAT STRICT GODDAMNED DIET YOU HAVE"

"I LOVE IT"

HE SAID SMILING. THAT SMILE. A CYNIC SMILE. LIKE VASH THE STAMPEDE'S SMILE. A SMILE THAT HIDED SO WELL A LOT OF PAIN.

"ALRIGHT... LET'S GO" I SAID.

WHAT WAS THE SECOND IMPACT ALL ABOUT?

GOT MAIL!!!

"""HONEY. DON'T YOU THINK YOU WRITE TOO OFTEN ON YOUR BLOG?
"""AS YOUR BOYFRIEND I COMMAND YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF
"""A LITTLE BIT

----BEAR CUB

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!
TT_TT

MORE ABOUT THE WEIST III TEST ^_^

SO MY LOVE, MY SIN, WAS EXPLAINING ME SOME MORE STUFF ABOUT THE WEISS III TEST.

HE TOLD ME THAT NEW KINDS OF INTELIGENCE WERE DISCOVERED, AND THE WEISS III TEST CONTEMPLATES THIS NEW KINDS OF INTELIGENCE, IT IS AN IQ TEST STILL, SO HE SAID IT WAS FOCUSED IN IQ, BUT, SOMEHOW, CONSIDERED THIS OTHER ASPECTS.

SO HE TOLD ME THERE WERE THIS NEW KINDS OF INTELLIGENCE. AND HERE'S THE LIST OF NEW INTELLIGENCES, HE TOLD ME ABOUT.

NEW INTELLIGENCES ACCORDING TO PROFFESSOR DUMBLEDORE

· MUSICAL
· GEOMETRICAL
· MATHEMATICAL
· GROUP THEORY
· CHOCOLATE FLAVOURS
· SMELLS FOR PERFUMES
· LITERATURE
· PHINE MOTRICITY
· COOKING
· LAUNDRY
· ORDER YOUR ROOM
· NOT MAKING THE BED
· DO IT YOURSELF
· MANIPULATION
· DRAWING
· DRAWING COMICS
· DRAWING MANGAS
· READING
· BIOCHEMISTRY
· ECONOMICS
· BUYING D&G ECONOMICS
· HOME ECONOMICS
· HOW TO TAKE A PLANE
· TAROT READING
· MAGIC
· IMAGINATION
· WATCHING GOOD QUALITY TV
· RPG UNDERSTANDING

AMONG OTHERS.
SO EACH ONE HE SAID, THE MORE WE LAUGHED.

LOVE YOU, SEXY BOY.

NOW I WONDER, TALKING ABOUT THE CUB AND THE VATER BRUDER SOHN THING.
MAYBE EVERYBODY IS THINKING I'M WAY OLDER THAN THE CUB.

SO LET'S MAKE THINGS CLEAR.

WE HAVE ONLY 5 YEARS OF DIFFERENCE.
5

THAT'S ALL. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME. XOXO. GOSSIP BOY.

THE UNIVERSE IS FLAT!!!!

SO MY BOYFRIEND SOMETIMES TALKS ABOUT DEEP STUFF.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

WELL HERE IT IS

ME: SO YOU WERE READING,,, WHAT SHIT?
HIM: NOT SHIT, HONEY. IT WAS A BOOK ABOUT QUANTUM PHYSICS (I WROTE THAT RIGHT ???? O.o)
ME: SO, WHAT YOU LEARNED ABOUT IT.
HIM: A LOT OF THINGS.
ME: LIKE WHAT? HEY, DON'T TALK LIKE I HAVE NO BRAIN... -_-
HIM: YOU DO BEHAVE LIKE A MEATHEAD. DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE I HAVE NO BRAIN.

GREAT X(

ME: YOU WON'T... TELL ME?
HIM: LOOK. ACCORDING TO QUANTUM PHYSICS... THE UNIVERSE IS FLAT.
ME: REALLY?
HIM. YES. AND THERE ARE SOME COLUMNS THAT MAKE THE UNIVERSE STAY STILL SO IT DOESN'T FALL.
ME: ALRIGHT!
HIM: YES, IT'S TRUE, LOOK. IF YOU GET INTO A SPACESHIP, AND FLY TO THE BORDER OF THE UNIVERSE, AND YOU GO BEYOND THAT POINT... YOU FALL TO HELL
ME: AND WHO SAID THIS CRAP???
HIM: WELL.. STEPHEN HAWKING, OF COURSE. WHO ELSE?
ME: YOU'RE KIDDING???
HIM: NO. GUESS STEPHEN HAWKING IS KIDDING. I THING HE GOT INTO QUANTUM PHYSICS SO DEEP, NOW HE LIVES IN THE WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???
ME: HONEY, QUANTUM PHYSICS IS THE WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION.

HIM: I KNOW. MAYBE THERE ARE THINGS I CANNOT UNDERSTAND.
ME: HONEY, THIS IS A SO VERY GOOD JOKE YOU MADE.

AND WE LAUGHED.

BEAR CUB, YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
XOXO
GOSSIP BOY

MY BOYFRIEND IS A CARE BEAR!!! ---CUB!!!

HELL YEAH.

THAT'S TRUE.

HERE AN IMAGE WITH ALL ASPECTS OF HIS PERSONALITY.

I CAN HEAR THE FIRE OF MY LOINS SAYING
"""I'M GONNA KILL YOU, HONEY"""

YES, DO THAT, BUT IN CHRISTIAN GREY MODE, RIGHT????

O.o

SHIT.

I'LL GET IN TROUBLE

:S



MY BOYFRIEND IS TAKING THE WEISS III TEST!!!

SO MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE WAS SURE HE WAS GIFTED.
BUT TO MAKE SURE, HE IS NOW TAKING THE WEISS III TEST (I WROTE THAT RIGHT?) (NEVERMIND... O.o)

SO HE SAID WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE CHILD. A BEAR PUP, NOT A CUB LIKE RIGHT NOW, JUST A BEAR PUP.
HE SAID HE GOT THE TEST FOR DDAA (IS THAT HOW IT'S CALLED???) WELL, THAT DAMNED THING ALL INDIGO CHILDREN HAVE (???).
SO THE DOCTOR BACK THEN WANTED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH MY BEAR CUB BRAIN (BY THEN, AGAIN, A BEAR PUPPY)

SO HE TOLD ME HE HAD TO DO A LOT OF BORING THINGS LIKE MAKING EASY (EASY???) PUZZLES AND OTHER STUFF. HE WAS CLEAR ALL THE TEST FOR HIM WAS.... ----""""""""""BORING""""""""""".

THE RESULT: NEARLY 150 IQ.
THAT'S GIFTED.
BUT AS HE HAS NOT THE PAPER TO CONFIRM THIS DATA, AND HE NOW IS A BEAR CUB, NOT A PUPPY, HE IS TAKING THE WEISS III TEST FOR CUBS, TO FIGURE OUT IF HIS IQ WENT OVER 200.

-_-'   SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT!!!!

"I AM GIFTED, MIKE, I JUST KNOW IT, I DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD THAT"

SAID HE, THE HUMBLE SUPER COCKY NEVER STOPS TALKING SUPER SEXY BEAR CUB.

WHAT AM I TO DO IF HIS IQ WENT OVER 200???

LOVE HIM MORE?

FOR SURE.

APRRECIATE HIM MORE?

OF COURSE

NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I'M HIS FIRST BOYFRIEND? FOR GOOD?
I'LL GET REALLY CLUELESS ABOUT THIS. AS HE IS TOO.

THE GOLDEN TICKET NO ONE TOOK. AS BOYFRIEND (SHIT DON'T WANNA KNOW HIS PAST)

ALL AND ALL. ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL.

LOVE YOU. VATER BRUDER SOHN. FIRE OF MY LOINS.
OARE TU STII CUM DOARE. ORIUNDE VAD KIPUL TAU.

I WATCHED HELLRAISER 2 WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!

SO MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE WAS CURIOUS ABOUT HELLRAISER. AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE THOUGHT IT WASN'T THAT TERRIFIC IF YOU COULD GET INTO THE PLOT.

SO WE RAN INTO WIKIPEDIA AND FIGURED OUT WHAT ALL THAT WAS ABOUT.

AND HE SAID:
"I TOLD YOU, OF COURSE YOU SEE TERRIFIC THINGS IN HELLRAISER, BUT THERE'S SOME KIND OF AESTHETIC. THE AESTHETIC OF THE UGLY OF COURSE, BUT I'M SURE WE WON'T PUKE IF WE SEE IT AS WE DID PUKE WATCHING SAW 3"

WELL, HE WAS RIGHT. AND HE SAID.

"WE WON'T WATCH HELLRAISER 1, IT IS BORING, I ALREADY SAW IT, BESIDES, NOTHING HAPPENS ---AND WHAT HE SAID AFTER THAT???=== AND, YOU KNOW, IT IS LONGER THAN HELL..."

O.o

HA.

GOOD JOKE, TEDDY BEAR.

SO WE SAW HELLRAISER 2. I HAD NOT. BUT HE DID. SO WHY HE WANTED TO SEE IT AGAIN? CAUSE HE WANTED TO UNDERSTAND BETTER THE FILM AND HE HAD SEEN IT WHEN DINOSAURS RULED EARTH, SO HE DID NOT HAVE ALL THE PICTURE CLEAR.

SO IN HELLRAISER THERE IS A CUBE THAT OPENS THE DOOR TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, THE DIMENSION OF CENOBYTES. BUT MY BOYFRIEND SAID.

"YOU KNOW, IN THIS MOVIE I REMEMBER THERE WAS A GIRL THAT DID NOT SPEAK, BUT COULD SOLVE PUZZLES. AND HE TOOK THE CUBE, BUT I REMEMBER IT HAD TRIANGLE SHAPES AT SOME POINT..."

SO THERE WAS A CUBE WITH TRIANGLE SIDES??? YOU FORGOT ALL ABOUT GEOMETRY ALL OF A SUDDEN, SUGARCUBE???

"WELL LOOK." HE SAID "I DON'T REMEMBER HOW, BUT THE CUBE TRANSFORMS IN A THING WITH TRIANGLE SHAPES, AND THE GIRL WHO DOES NOT SPEAK FINDS A WAY TO SOLVE THE GODDAMNED TRIANGLE-CUBE"

YES????

O.O

"IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME" HE SAID "WE CAN BET MONEY"

SSSSSSHIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!! -_-'

I SAID.
"NOOOOO. I BELIEVE YOU. LET'S STOP ARGUING ABOUT THIS MATTER. AFTER ALL WE HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE, I MEAN, I HAVE NOT, YOU KNOWW..."

"SHUT UP... " HE SAID.

SO WE WATCHED THE MOVIE AND HE WAS RIGHT!!!
THE CUBE CHANGED ITS SHAPE INTO TRIANGLE SIDES.

"IT'S A MOVIE, HONEY" HE SAID "HOW AM I NOT TO REMEMBER???"

AND I STARTED TO MAKE QUESTIONS INSIDE MY HEAD...

WHAT ELSE DOES THE BEAR CUB REMEMBER????

MY BOYFRIEND HAS 1000 REMOTES!!!

WELL. NOT 1000. BUT A LOT. HE SAYS HE DOESN'T NEED TO LOOK AT THE REMOTE CONTROLS BECAUSE HE CAN TELL WICH IS WHICH BY THEIR SHAPES.

????

O.o

HELL YEAH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

AND IT GOES WORSE!

"""AND I KNOW WHERE ALL THE BUTTONS ARE SO I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT ALL THE REMOTES EVERYTIME I WANT TO USE THEM, U KNOW WHAT I MEAN"""

NO, HONEY O.o I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN :S

"""WELL, IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO LEARN, YOU SEE? ALL BUTTONS ARE ARRANGED ACCORDING TO CATEGORY AND HIERARCHICAL ORDER, ALSO THERE ARE BUTTONS THAT ARE VERY DIFFERENT BECAUSE U USE THEM FOR OTHER SPECIFIC FUNCTIONS. ALL THESE BUTTONS HAVE DIFFERENT SHAPES AND YOU CAN TELL THAT BUT HOW YOUR HANDS ---READ THIS--- FEEL THEM"""

HERE IS WHERE I REMEMBER PITAGORAS. AND THE SUM OF THE SQUARES OF AND THAT EQUALS THE SQUARE... IT WAS PITAGORAS???

O.o

"""YOU KNOW, BEFORE, REMOTES WERE VERY STANDARIZED SO REMEMBERING JUST ONE, IT WAS KINDA YOU REMEMBERED EVERYONE. BUT NOW THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT. TECHNOLOGY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH, YOU KNOW?"""

YES! I KNOW THAT!

BUT I DO NOT KNOW HOW THE HELL YOU DO THAT!!!

"""IT IS ONLY GEOMETRY"""

OH YEAH. NOW I DOOOOOOOOOOOON'T GET IT.

WELL, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND. I LOVE HIM.

VATER, BRUDER, SOHN.

MY BOYFRIEND IS LIKE MISATO KATSURAGI!!!!

SO HE SAID

"THIS IS MY ROOM, LIKE IT?"

AND I SAW A PILE OF CLOTHES, THE TRASHCAN FULL AND LEAKING GARBAGE, NEARLY EMPTY AND DIRTY MUGS, AND DIRTY DISHES ON THE FLOOR AND... I SAID...

"YOU'RE LIKE MISATO KATSURAGI"

"BUT I DO COOK" HE ANSWERED.

WELL HE THEN EXPLAINED THAT THERE WAS TOO MUCH STUFF IN HIS ROOM AND, READ THIS """LACK OF FURNITURE""", YOU KNOW, TO PUT THE THINGS INSIDE.

"I UNDERSTAND MY DISORDER" HE AFFIRMED. "ONCE A COUSIN DIS-DISORDERED A DESK TO --MAKE ORDER???--- AND THEN I HAD NO CLUE WHERE THINGS WERE"

AND HE ADDED.

"AS YOU CAN SEE, MY SIX DOOR CLOSET IS FULLY ORDERED (((HE CALLS THAT CLOSET """THE SOHO""", CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A SOHO STORE))). AND ALSO ARE ORDERED MY BOOKSHELFS. BY CATEGORY AND TYPE OF DOCUMENT".

TYPE OF DOCUMENT HERE MEANS: LITERATURE, MADONNA BOOKS, MANGA, US COMICS, EUROPEAN COMICS, ART BOOKS, MAFALDA, DVDS, CDS, AND PERFUMES.

PERFUMES!!!!

BUT HE REALLY IS LIKE MISATO KATSURAGI IN SOME ASPECTS. OVERALL WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT SECOND IMPACT. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS BY THAT, BUT SEEMS TO ME, IT IS A VERY SAD SUBJECT.

"DOESN'T MATTER" HE SAYS "NOW YOU'RE WITH ME, I FEEL GOOD".

FEEL GOOD.

O.o

THAT'S ALL.

TELEPHONE O.o

STOP CALLING!!! I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE!!!

SHIT.

SO MY BOYFRIEND TELEPHONED ME.

STOP THELEPHONING MEEEE

SAYING I'M GOING A LITTLE TOO FAR WITH THE TELEPHONE. I MEAN... ----BLOG.

LIKE HE DOESN'T SHOW OF ALL HIS TORSO ON FACEBOOK, YEAH!

"DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE OVEREXPOSING US IN YOUR BLOG, SHUGGY?"

"NOOOOOOO.... O.o (GULP)"

"AS YOU ARE RESERVED ALL THE TIME AND SAY I SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT SOME STUFF AND ALL THAT ---STUFF?"

"HONEY, THIS IS THE INTERNET. NOTHING IS REAL HERE"

---ACTUALLY I GUESS THAT YOU NEED A RED PILL TO ENTER """THE REAL WORLD""". OR WAS IT BLUE????? O.o

AND HE SAID.

"I JUST THINK. THAT A LITTLE ---BIT. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF"

AND I SAW IT. HE WAS JOKING. I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT. LIKE SIMBA WITH THE BIRD IN THE LION KING, REMEMBER???

AND I SAID ALL SWEATY.

"YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING?"

AND WE BOTH SAID.

"HAVING YOUR HEAD!!!"

WE LAUGHED OUT LOUD.

I LOVE HIM.

THE GODDAMNED PERFUME!!!!

WELL, ME AND MY BOYFRIEND LIKE TO READ.

AND I STARTED QUESTIONING MYSELF HOW FAR A BOOK CAN INFLUENCE YOUR LIFE.

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT TWILIGHT, HARRY POTTER, THE HUNGER GAMES, CARRIE OR THE FIFTY FUCKING SHADES.

NO.

I'M TALKING ABOUT A BOOK IN PARTICULAR.

YES:

THE PERFUME

SO THE THING IS. MY BOYFRIEND READ THE (((FFFFUUUUCKING!!!))) PERFUME AND FROM THEN, HE GOT OBSESSED ABOUT PERFUMES. HE CAN EVEN TELL WICH PERFUME IS SIMILAR TO ANOTHER AND WHAT THE HELL IT SMELLS LIKE.

O.O!

HELLLLLL.....

WICH MEANS:

JAZMINE, STRAWBERRRY, RASPBERRY, MANGO, LAVENDER, MUSK, LIME, LEMON, ORANGE, MANDARINE, APPLE, MINT, SPEARMINT, GOLDEN AMBER, PEPPERED MINT, VANILLA, CACAO, LEATHER, INCENSE...

DAMMIT!!!

EVEN PEPPERMINT PATTY!!!

I SWEAR

O.o

SO HE HAS A PERFUME COLLECTION. AND SOMETIMES WE GO TO A STORE HE SAYS: I DON' HAVE A CHANEL YET. OR A GYVENCHY (I WROTE THAT RIGHT?) OR AN YVES ST LURENT...

WHAT THE HELL DOES LITERATURE TO PEOPLE!!!

WONDER WHY BOOKS WERE BURNED LONG TIME AGO, I WOULD BURN THE FUCKING PERFUME!!!

BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE HE ALWAYS SMELLS AND TASTES SOOOO WELL...

HONEY, WHEN YOU READ THIS: DON'T GET ANGRY, PU-----LEEEEEEEASEEE!!!

LOVE U SEXY
DREAM OF MY DREAMS, FIRE OF MY LOINS, MY LOVE, MY SIN.

ICE TEA

ICE TEA IS A COLD DRINK, IN THIS CASE: TEA. YOU NORMALLY DRINK IT IN A LARGE GLASS WITH ICE. IT MAY BE SWEETENED. IT CAN BE BOUGHT ALREADY MADE IN SUPERMARKETS AND GROCERY STORES. IT COMES IN A LOT OF FLAVOURS LIKE:

LEMON, PEACH, RASPBERRY, LIME, PASSION FRUIT (???), STRAWBERRY, CHERRY...

SOMETIMES, ICE TEA IS MADE FROM A LONG STEEPING OF TEA LEAVES AT LOWER TEMPERATURE (ONE HOUR IN THE SUN, VERSUS FIVE MITUS AT 80-100 DEGREES CELSIUS)

IT IS OFTEN CALLED "SUN TEA" AS YOU DRINK IT IN SUNNY DAYS AND IT'S HOT LIKE HELL.

IT IS RECOMMENDED TO LEAVE IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR OVERNIGHT TO MAKE SURE IT IS """COLD"""

IN THE UNITED KINGDOM

IT'S LIKE NOBODY DRINKS ICE TEA IN THE UK. IN THE REST OF EUROPE, THE DRINK GAINED POPULARITY IN THE PAST DECADE. RECENTLY, LIPTON WANTED TO ACQUIRE THE MONOPOLY ON ICE TEA IN UK, BUT NESTEA AND TWININGS ALSO STARTED TO SELL ICE TEA IN THE UK WITH THE SAME PURPOSE.

IN THE UNITED STATES

HERE ICE TEA REPRESENTS THE 85% OF ALL TEA CONSUMED, IT'S VERY POPULAR, AND A GOOD ALTERNATIVE TO CARBONATED SOFT DRINKS, OVERALL IN THE SOUTHERN STATES WHERE THERE'S HOT LIKE HELL.
YOU CAN BUY THEM IN RESTAURANTS, VENDING MACHINES, CONVENIENCE STORES AND GROCERY STORES.
IT MAY BE FRESHLY MADE, OR YOU CAN BUY IT IN BOTTLES, CANS AND SELF-SERVE SODA FOUNTAINS. IN RESTAURANTS YOU CAN CHOOSE IT SWEETENED OR NOT.

IN SWITZERLAND

NESTEA, GREENICE AND LIPTON ARE POPULAR HERE (AND MASS PRODUCED).
THEY SELL ICED TISANES, DOMINATED BY PEPPERMINT, AND ALSO WHITE ICE TEA AND ICE FLAVORED BLAC TEAS.
SWITZERLAND IS CONSIDERED THE MOTHERLAND OF BOTTLED ICE TEA.
IN 1983, BISCHOFZELL FOOD LTD. BECAME THE FIRST PRODUCER IN THE WORLD OF BOTTLED ICE TEA ON AN INDUSTRIAL SCALE.

JOURNALIST : MIKE LERKOFF
NEWSPAPER : SANTIAGO DAILY NEWS

"""I.E""" SECRET MEANING

I.E. :

WORLDWIDE DEFINITION

"""NOT DRUNK, NOT HIGH, NOT A SERIAL KILLER"""

A GIRL ASKED MY BOYFRIEND OUT!!!!

SO MY CUB WENT OUT AND THERE WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE.
SUDDENLY, A GIRL TOLD HIM SHE HAD A FREE PASS FOR AN EVENT.
THE STUD ANSWER:

--NO

BUT AT SOME POINT, HE HEARD THAT EVENT WOULD END THE NEXT DAY.
AND HE STARTED THINKING.....

"WELL, SHE'S NOT DANGEROUS (I. E. : NOT DRUNK, NOT HIGH, NOT A SERIAL KILLER). AND SHE TALKED FROM OUTSIDE MY PERSONAL SPACE, AND SHE WAS VERY NICE WHEN SHE TALKED. BESIDES SHE DID NOT DROP THE GLASS SHE HAD IN HER HANDS. BUT TOMORROW I CAN'T, BECAUSE... I'M SEEING SOMEONE."

SEEING SOMEONE)))))))))))))))))))

o.O

LIAR!!!

BUT I DON'T QUESTION THIS AS HE SAYS

"WELL, WHEN WE LIVE TOGETHER AND EVERYONE GETS TO KNOW """"OUR"""" STATUS, HELL, YEAH, I WILL SAY WITH PLEASURE I HAVE A """BOYFRIEND""" AND NOT A COWARD INSIDE A CLOSET. SO NOW I PREFFER TO SAY I'M SEEING SOMEONE, AS YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE """US""" IS GONNA END UP"

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT HOW AM I TO ANSWER TO THAT, IF HE'S RIGHT. X(

SO SHE TOLD THE GIRL THAT HE COULDN'GO THE NEXT DAY. AND AS HE WAS INTERESTED IN THE EVENT, HE WOULD PREFFER NOT TO GO.

YEAH, DON'T GO HONEY, WE ARE "SEEING EACH OTHER", ALL AND ALL, ANOTHER FUCKING BRICK IN THE WALL.

MY MISTAKE TT_TT

I NEED TO KILL SOMEONE. SERIOUSLY.

SO THE STUD MUFFIN, THE DREAMS OF MY DREAMS, THE FIRE OF MY LOINS, MY LOVE, MY SIN...

ASKED ME FOR AUTHORIZATION TO GO TO FANGTASIA

o.O

ALONE----------------

SO I SAID YES.

WELL. HERE IT GOES.

THE BEAR CUB GOES TO FANGTASIA BUT TALKS TO NO ONE. HE THINKS HUMANS ARE UGLY. BUT EVERYBODY THERE WANTS TO GET INTO HIS SHEETS.

SOMETIMES THE "ERIC NORHTMAN I KNOW" SITS ON AN EMPTY TABLE AND TURNS ON A CHRONOMETRE, SOMETIMES 5 OR 10 MINUTES TO DEMONSTRATE NOBODY WOULD TALK TO HIM. AND EVERYBODY STARES AT HIM, BUT NO ONE EVEN APPROACHES.

SO WHEN THE PUP COMES AND TELL ME: YOU THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL?
I SAY: YES
AND HE TELLS ME: YOU SHOULD SAY THAT 24/7. I KNOW I'M GOOD LOOKING, BUT I NEED TO HEAR IT.

O.o
???

WELL.

HE WENT TO FANGTASIA AND BEFORE GETTING INSIDE, THIS GUY TALKED TO HIM. AS THE STUD MUFFIN SAW THE GUY WAS NOT DANGEROUS (I. E. : NOT DRUNK, NOT HIGH, NOT A SERIAL KILLER), HE TALKED TO HIM BACK. THE GUY WAS WOULD LOOKING, BUT NOT ENOUGH, I MEAN, HE WAS OUT OF HIS LEAGUE.

THEN BOTH ENTERED FANGTASIA AND SAT ON A TABLE. THE OTHER GUY, WE WILL REFFER TO HIM AS "THE MOTHERFUCKER" FROM NOW ON, TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR.

THE MOTHERFUCKER ASKED A DRINK. AND TOLD MY IMMACULATE SIN IF HE WANTED TO DRINK. THE STUD TOLD HIM NO. AND THE MOTHERFUCKER ASKED AGAIN THE SAME THING. AND THE STUD SAID: NO!!! (KNOWING THAT WHO KNOWS WICH KIND OF DRUG COULD BE INSIDE THAT STUFF)

THEY TALKED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS. THE STUD TOLD ME THE GUY WAS NOT UGLY, OUT OF HIS LEAGUE, OF COURSE, BUT HE THOUGHT THE MOTHERFUCKER WAS SEXY, AND, READ THIS """""SAW SOMETHING IN HIS EYES"""""".

THE STUD WAS CONCERNED AS THE MOTHERFUCKER TALKED TO HIM WITHOUT FAINTING. SO HE ASKED WHY THE MOTHERFUCKER TALKED TO HIM. THE OTHER GUY HAD NO CLUE. THE STUD SAID "NORMALLY PEOPLE DON'T TALK TO ME. I DON'T KNOW WHY ((((((LIAR!!!!)))) SO THAT'S WHY I ASK. ---------BUT I DO CAN TALK"

O:O ! I KNOW THAT, PLEASE STOP TALKING, FIRE OF MY LOINS.

AT SOME POINT THE STUD MUFFIN WANTED TO TELL THE GUY AN ADVICE, BUT THE MOTHERFUCKER SAID, HE WOULD TALK TO A FRIEND. THE HUNK PUSHED HIM BACK AND TOLD HIM HE SHOULDN'T DO SOMETHING IN FANGTASIA, OR COULD SHOW A BAD IMPRESSION.

PUSHED HERE, MEANS PUSH, BUT...

THERE WAS PHISICAL CONTACT. THE STUD TAKE HOURS TO DECIDE WHEN HE WOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, AND HERE WE ARE: THERE WAS PHISICAL CONTACT. NOT SEXUAL, BUT, HE ENTERED HIS PERSONAL SPACE, AND THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. IN FANGTASIA EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. ONCE A GUY PUT HIS ARM OVER ---MY---STUD--- AND HE INMEDIATELLY MOVED AWAY AND LOOKED AT THE GUY LIKE HE WANTED TO KILL HIM.

SO THE PEOPLE IN FANGTASIA IS AWARE OF THIS MATTER.

THEN THE STUD WENT FROM HERE TO THERE, DANCED A LITTLE HERE AND THERE.

AND AT SOME POINT HE THOUGHT "I KNOW NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN, BUT I'LL GIVE IT A TRY"
SO HE STARTED LOOKING FOR THE GUY AND EVERYONE IN FANGTASIA REALIZED HE WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE (THIS HAPPENS ONCE EACH MILLENIA IN FANGTASIA AND EVERYONE THERE KNOWS THAT).
SO HE LOOKED AND LOOKED FOR THE MOTHERFUCKER. AND KEPT LOOKING.
AND IN THE END HE FOUND HIM IN THE SMOKING AREA.
HE APPROACHED AND LOOKED AT THE MOTHERFUCKER'S EYES. BUT SAID NO WORD.
THEN HE TRIED TO TALK TO HIM, AND COULD TELL BY THE MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK, THAT HE WANTED NOT TO TALK WITH ----THE MUFFIN???!!!!!
THE MUFFIN STARED FIVE SECONDS. THEN TURNED HIS HEAD AND TURNED HIS EYES UP, THINKING. FIVE MORE SECONDS, HE REALIZED HE WAR RIGHT AND
READ THIS.

NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN................

SO HURT IN HIS EGO AND SATISFIED WITH THE TIME HE SPENT DANCING -----ALONE.
HE LEFT FANGTASIA EARLIER THAN USUALLY.

SO WE WONDER NOW WHAT HE WAS TOLD BY EVERYONE IN FANGTASIA, BECAUSE THERE EVERYBODY WOULD GIVE A LEG, OR KILL SOMEONE TO HAVE JUST ONE NIGHT THING WITH ---MY--STUD---

AND EVERYONED SAW BY THE STUD ATTITUDE HE DID WANT MORE THAN ONE NIGHT THING. HE WANTED A SHEEP.

AND BY HOW THE STUD MUFFIN BEHAVES, EVERYONE ALREADY FIGURED OUT THAT HE DOESN'T GIVE SECOND CHANCES.
THEY MUST HAVE TOLD THAT TO THE MOTHERFUCKER.

SO NOW WE IMAGINE THE MOTHERFUCKER SINKING IN HIS OWN STUPIDITY.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS.