MY BOYFRIEND HAD A REGRESSION!!!!

"SO WHY YOU WANT A REGRESSION???"

"I DUNNO. I... WANT TO KNOW IF I HAVE SOME PROBLEMS IN MY HEAD BECAUSE OF PAST LIFES. MAYBE I SAW THE FIRST IMPACT TOO!!! THAT HAPPENNED A LONG TIME AGO"

"WHAT????"

"I JUST WANT A REGRESSION"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!!"

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"SO, NOW TRY TO CONCENTRATE AND THINK IN NOTHING" SAID THE JUNGIAN PSICHOLOGIST.

MY BOYFRIEND WAS LYING (THE HELL!!! I NEVER LEARNED THAT FUCKING TRICKY GRAMMAR RULE ABOUT LIE ANDL LYE!!! SO I PROBABLY WROTE THAT WRONG!!! O.o) ON A COUCH. AND IT WAS LIKE "WHAT AM """I""" DOING HERE?" BUT I WANTED TO KNOW TOO...

"AND NOW CONNECT WITH YOUR INNER CORE, THE SOURCE OF LIGHT WITHIN YOUR SOUL" SAID THE THERAPIST.

THE HELL THE CUB WAS TRYING HIS BEST EFFORT TO NOT LAUGH OUT LOUD. I WAS ON THE SAME PAGE...

"AND TRY TO... REMEEEEEMBEEEEER"

I WONDERED WHY THERE WERE SOME MANY INSENCE STICKS TURNED ON. IT WAS WORSE THAT THE SMOKING AREAS OF OLD HAPPY TIMES....

"OH..." SAID THE CUB "I SEE SOMETHING"

"TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE... THE WISDOM OF PAST LIFES IS THE WINDOW TO A NEW THERAPY"

"I SEE... SOMETHING BLURED"

"AAAAAAAAAAND?????"

"NO... WAIT... I START TO SEE THINGS MORE CLEAR..."

"WHAT YOU SEE CLEAR?"

WELL AT THIS POINT I WAS COVERING MY FACE WITH A NEWSPAPER. THIS WAS SO FUNNY I COULD NOT PERFORM AS AN ACTOR ANYMORE.

"I SEE CLEAR" SAID THE CUB "THIS IS AN OLD CITY"

"WHAT ELSE CAN YOU SEE???"

"IT'S ALL MARBLE WHITE. CAUSE IT IS MADE OF WHITE MARBLE..."

"AND....."

"THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE BUT... MORE MEN THAT WOMEN... A LOT MORE"

"KEEP LOOKIIIIING"

"WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH THE RED COLOUR... AND MEN ARE HOT BUT WEAR SKIRTS... OH I GET IT.... I'M IN ROME"

"SO IT'S ROMAN EMPIRE"

"HELL YEAH!!! HEY. WAIT A MOMENT... I'M SITTING IN A THRONE AND EVERYBODY IS AROUND ME... THEY SAY MY NAME OUT LOUD... THEY ADORE ME!!!"

"AAAAAND?"

"THEY SAY MY NAME. I WAS AN EMPEROR... THEY SAY MY NAME AND SAY MY NAME AND THEY RAISE THEIR HANDS AND..."

"WHAT NAME CAN YOU HEAR..."

"THEY SAAAAY MY NAAAME. I'M AN EMPEROR. ALL ADORE ME. THEY SAY IT OUT LOUD... I AM...
CALLIGULA...."

WHAT??????????????????????????

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LATER

"SO YOU WERE CALLIGULA IN YOUR PAST LIFE???"

"WELL, I HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE. I DID NOT IMAGINE THAT. YOU HAVE TO TAKE REGRESSIONS MORE SERIOUS, MIKE. AND TALK WITH MORE RESPECT TO A ROMAN EMPEROR, RIGHT??"

"IT WAS YOUR PAST LIFE, IT DOESN'T COUNT"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I LEARNED FROM THAT REGRESSION???"

"TELL ME"

"CHRISTIAN GREY IS A TOTAL WUSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"