WELCOME TO WONDERSPACE: HERE YOU'LL READ REAL SITUATIONS. BUT SOME THINGS WERE MODIFIED BY THE MADHATTER. REALITY AND DREAMS ARE MIXED.FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT KNOWING THAT PLACES AND TIME REFERENCES ARE NOT REAL. MENTION OF REAL PEOPLE NAMES IS FORBIDDEN BY THE QUEEN OF HEARTS. ALL COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL, AND REFERENCES TO THEM SHOWN ON THIS BLOG ARE THERE FOR FUN AND OR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES SO EAT AND DRINK THEM WITH CAUTION.
WARNING! THIS SITE HAS COOKIES SO BY READING IT YOU AGREE ABOUT THAT!
"I DUNNO WHAT TO DO WITH THE DEATH LIST FIVE. REMEMBER AFTER I PUNCHED MY BROTHER A LOT OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS GOT KICKED OUT OF THE LIST" SAID MY BEAR CUB PLUSH.
"HEY!!! YOU FINALLY SAID WHO WAS THE BULLY YOU PUNCHED!!! I WAS WAITING FOR THIS SINCE... THAT HAPPENNED. AND YEAH... BUT YOU PUT FRIENDS INSTEAD TO FILL THE BLANKS. YOU CANNOT MAKE CONFIRMATION CALLS, YOU'LL GET A PANIC ATTACK, I KNOW YOU, I KNOW YOU" I SAID.
"YEAH IF I ALREADY ORGANIZED ALL THE REST, GUESS I HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT MAKE THOSE CALLS. WHAT ABOUT THE DATE AND TIME?"
"NOT CONFIRMED YET"
"SHIT. WELL WHAT I ORGANIZED CAN BE MADE ANYTIME AND AT THE W THAT ROOM I SAW HAS LIKE ALWAYS AVAILABILITY"
"HOW YOU CALL ME NOW THE WEATHER IS MORE WARM"
"COTTON CANDY. CAUSE YOUR SKIN BECAME MORE SMOOTH AND SWEET"
"LOOK, ABOUT MY SIDE, WE CAN SEE THAT LATER"
"ALRIGHT"
"YOU WANNA INVTE YOUR BROTHER???"
"I WOULD LIKE TO. BUT I DON'T KNOW. WHAT HE'S GONNA DO? KICK ALL PEOPLE? DESTROY THE CAKE? WE DON'T KNOW. I WOULD INVITE HIM CAUSE OF A PROTOCOLE THING OR OUT OF PITY, BUT, THOSE ARE NOT ENOUGH REASONS. I SAY NO"
"ME TOO, SO IT'S NO"
"AND I HAVE A LOT OF EX COUSINS. ONE OF THEM STUDIED MEDICINE, REMEMBER? AND SO NAIVE I COULD BE, THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS CAUSE I HELPED HIM GETTING HIGH SCORES IN SATS FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO STUDY MEDICINE. BY THE WAY HE LAST TALKED TO ME, HE MADE CLEAR I WAS REPULSIVE FOR HIM, AND NOT FOR BEING MUTANT, NOW HE IS IN MY BLACK LIST. I FEEL SORRY FOR NOT INVITING HIM, BUT I WILL NOT INVITE HIM TO NOT FEEL SAD ABOUT IT, YOUR ANSWER?"
"NO"
"ME NO TOO, SO IT'S NO"
"WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?"
"I HAVE NO IDEA. SEEMS TO ME THINGS WILL GET BETTER WITH THEM. SO WE'LL LET THEM IN STAND BY STATUS"
"AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS???"
"I'M NOT SURE. NOT ALL OF THEM KNOW ABOUT US. SO IF I INVITE THEM, WILL THEY SAY YES? AND IF THEY DO, WILL THEY GO? GUESS TELLING THE W LETTER, AND THE WORD "BEER" WILL HELP, BUT THAT'S NOT CLEAR, BUT THEY ARE IN THE LIST I SAY YES"
"ME TOO, LET'S TAKE THE CHANCE. IF SOME SAY NOW WE'LL COMPLETE THE LIST WITH OTHER PEOPLE, THAT'S FINE?"
"YES"
"AND MY FAMILY IT'S NOT CLEAR IF SOMEONE WILL TAKE THE PLANE OR NOT, THEY ARE IN STAND BY"
"FINE, WE'LL NEED SOMEONE OF SECURITY TO MAKE SURE MY BROTHER AND SOME EX COUSINS WON'T GO MAKE TROUBLE"
"GUISE DECISION, I SAY YES"
"THAT'S DECIDED"
"WELL, THAT WAS EASY. TELL ME. WHEN YOU WORK, YOU DO IT THAT FAST AND EASY???"
"NOT REAL, I FEEL RELIEVED AFTER DROPPING YOUR MILO OVER THAT EXPENSIVE CARPET AND SHAKING AND SHOUTING YOU. I FEEL LIKE I SAID 1000 THINGS IN ONE SENTENCE"
"ALRIGHT. NEXT QUESTION. YOU PREFFER CRUNCH OR MILKY WAY, IT'S CRUNCH, REAL OR NOT REAL?"
"TOUGH QUESTION. I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY"
"YOU ARE UPSET CAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THE GYM, REAL OR NOT REAL?"
"NOT REAL. NOW I DON'T DEVELOP MUSCLE MASS SO I HAVE TO MISS SOME WEEKS TWICE A YEAR TO MAINTAIN MY BODY MASS WITHOUT LEVELING UP THE FUCKING WEIGHS"
"ALRIGHT. I AM AN ASSHOLE. REAL OR NOT REAL?"
"REAL"
"HEY, WHAT THE FUCK?"
"REAL"
"NEXT QUESTION... YOU KNOW SIX FABRICS CAUSE YOU ARE AWARE THAT SILK EXISTS, REAL OR NOT REAL?"
"REAL. I NEVER SAID THAT. HOW YOU KNOW?"
"REAL. I FIGURED THAT OUT. ALRIGHT AND YOUR FAVORITE COLOUR IF I SAY BLUE, IT IS COBALT BLUE, REAL OR NOT REAL?"
SO I WAS IN MY COUCH TAKING MILO AND SUDDENLY MY MUG FLEW AWAY.
"EH... WHAT YOU'RE DOING???" I SAID o.O
AND THE MONSTER FELL OVER ME, HE WAS ANGRY. CAPITAL A-N-G-R-Y. SHIT. I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE.
SO HE SAID
"YOU, AUSSIE OF HELL!!! I CAN'T DO IT FOR (AMOUNT OF TIME) WITHOUR (FILL IN THE BLANKS) BECAUSE THAT BEAUTIFUL THING CHRISTIAN SAID TO OLIVER YOU'VE SAID TO ME MORE THAN 150 TIMES!!!! AND ME TO YOU LIKE 50!!!! YOU KNOW THAT'S WHY I'VE BEEN TAKING ANTIDEPRESSANTS FOR (?) MONTHS!!!! LOOK, IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS I DON'T GO TO THE GYM CAUSE I RAN OUT OF STAMINA!!! AND THEN YOU GO AND ASK:
YES I SAW HIM, HE WAS LISTENING TO HIS WALKMAN AND HE WAS MOVING. WHEN I SEE HIM ALONE I SEE VERY SAD POSTCARD IN MY HEAD.
LISTENING TO MUSIC AND MOVING, IN THE VERY DOWNTOWN.
I APPROACHED HIM AND TOOK OFF ONE OF HIS EARPHONES WITHOUT LETTING HIM SEE ME.
"OH IT'S YOU"
"HOW YOU KNOW?" I ASKED O.o
"WHO ELSE WOULD DARE TAKE AN EARPHONE OUT OF MY HEAD???"
"YOU LOOK... WORRIED"
"YES. I TURNED ON THE BOILER IN THE MORNING AND MY PARENTS MADE A SCENE"
"WHY YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?"
"CAUSE IT'S MY CHOICE. AND I'M A GEN YER..."
"YOU THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT YOUR RIDDLE???"
"NOPE. BUT SUBCONSCIOUSLY... KINDA YEAH."
"HOW YOU KNOW?"
"IF THEY REALLY KNEW, THEY WOULD HAVE BROKEN SOMETHING, LIKE A GLASS OR A DISH..."
"AH WELL... AND WHAT GOD THINKS ABOUT IT???"
"THAT YOU ARE VERY INDECISIVE WHEN YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING..."
"WHAT???"
"IS IT NOT TRUE?"
"THOUGHT HE WAS AGAINST MUTANT AFFAIRS"
"LOOK. PRIESTS SAY THAT BASED IN THREE SENTENCES THAT ARE NOT VERY CLEAR ABOUT THE SUBJECT BUT ARE IN THE BIBLE. AS THE BIBLE HAS MORE THAN 1000 PAGES, THAT'S NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE FOR ANYONE WHO HAS A BRAIN. AND JOSH DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, CAUSE HE DOES NOT CARE"
"REALLY???"
"WHY YOU THINK HE GOT KILLED?"
"OH, MAKES SENSE..."
"ANYWAY... I'LL SEE WHAT I'LL DO WITH MY PARENTS. AND TODAY I WAS INVITED TO DINNER!!!"
"WHAT? WHO? YOU... ARE..."
"IT'S WITH MY FAMILY, MIKE. I WON'T MAKE OUT WITH AN UNCLE, PROMISE!!!"
"HA, GOOD JOKE!!! YOU... FUCKING MALE POISON IVY!!!"
"YEAH AND FOR TURNING ON THE BOILER, MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW IF THEY'LL SHOW UP. GOOD FOR ME AS I WAS NOT GOING AFTER THAT, BUT IF THEY WON'T GO, I WILL GO, SO I MADE LIKE I WAS VERY UPSET"
"OH, I SEE"
"WHAT WE'LL DO? THEY DON'T RELEASE CARRIE YET AND I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYTHING ELSE NOW"
"YOU WANT A PERFUME?"
"ALRIGHT. BUT WE WON'T GO TO A DEPARTMENT STORE, I KNOW SOME PLACES WHERE THEY SELL THEM WAY CHEAPER. I ONLY BUY IN DEPARTMENT STORES WHEN THEY COME WITH SHOWER GEL AND AFTER SHAVE FOR FREE, OR IF THEY HAVE A VERY GOOD PERCENT OFF"
"THEY ARE ORIGINAL?"
"YES, I'VE BOUGHT THERE BEFORE, YOU THINK I WON'T KNOW THAT?"
"THAT IS AN EXPENSIVE HOTEL AND YOU GO AND SAY "IT'S THE CHEAPEST OPTION" YOU... SURE?"
"LOOK, NORMALLY PEOPLE CAN WASTE FROM 6000 TO 10000 BUCKS IN THIS KIND OF EVENTS. SO I WAS TOLD THE ROOM WITH THE TABLES WAS TOO BIG. AND WAY EXPENSIVE. SO THEY TOLD ME IT WAS MORE EASIER TO MAKE A BUFFET AND PUT SOME COOL COUCHES IN A ROOM AS BIG AS I THINK WE NEED AND I WAS TOLD "YOU'LL PAY A DJ FOR THE MUSIC?" AND I WAS LIKE "NOPE. I'LL BE THE DJ. I HAVE A WALKMAN, I ONLY NEED A SOUND SYSTEM AND THEN PRESS PLAY, SO I'LL LISTEN TO WHAT I WANT" THEY TOLD ME THAT ALL WAS LIKE 3000 BUCKS AND INCLUDING THE HOTEL HABITATION WITH LATE CHECK-OUT INCLUDED"
"OH, I SEE"
"AND I WENT SEMI-FORMAL WITH CK JEANS AND AN OFFICE JACKET I HAD TO ADD CHAINS TO, CAUSE IT JUST LOOKED UGLY AND BORING THE NORMAL WAY. I PUT THOSE CHAINS AFTER I SAW A GUY WITH A JACKET WITH CHAINS IN AN ACE OF BASE VIDEO, AND ALL PEOPLE WAS GOSSIPPING AND WONDERING IF I WAS FROM EUROPE, HA!"
"OH, WELL...YEAH, THAT'S CHEAP... FOR THE W... AND THE CAKE?"
"IT'S LIKE 400 BUCKS, I HAVE A DRAWING..."
"SHIT!"
"WELL, ANY OTHER PLACE CAN TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT AND YOU CAN PAY WAY MORE MONEY AND IN THE FATAL DAY, YOU CAN GET KICKED OUT OF THE HOTEL OR ANY OTHER PLACE, FOR MUTANT. THAT WON'T HAPPEN IN THE W..."
"SO YOU LIKE ACE OF BASE"
"LOVE ACE OF BASE. YEAH. I SEE THAT AS A NORMAL THING BUT GUESS IN THE REAL WORLD THAT'S A GUILTY PLEASURE, ANYWAY"
"OH, MIKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU POSTED IN YOUR LAT POST!!! I FEEL SO HAPPY!!! NOT BLUE ANYMORE. THE CARDS WERE JUST RIGHT!!!"
"YOU THINK SO?"
"HELL YEAH!!! NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS, YOU CANNOT TAKE IT BACK!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!"
"I WON'T TAKE IT BACK!"
"I DUNNO. WHAT IF YOU DID?"
"I... WON'T... TAKE IT BACK!"
"CHILL OUT! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT BACK... WHY YOU SHOUT?"
"I WON'T TAKE IT... BACK! YOU CUB!!!"
"THAT'S IT, YOU JUST SAID IT THREE TIMES. WONDERFUL!!!"
"YOU! OH NO! AGAIN I FELL IN ONE OF YOUR BEAR CUB TRAPS!!!"
"YEAH, YEAH. NOW EXPLAIN ME HOW YOU SOLVED THE RIDDLE..."
"YOU SAID "IT STARTS WITH THE LETTER W AND HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH WATER" AND I WONDERED... IF IT STARTS WITH THE LETTER W AND IT IS A RIDDLE, IT'S NOT A SINGLE WORD, MUST BE MORE THAN ONE WORD OR A SENTENCE..."
"CONTINUE! THIS IS JUST AWEEESOOOMEE!!!"
"YEAH? LOOK... NEVERMIND. THEN I THOUGHT, MAYBE IT IS ANOTHER THING. LIKE NOT A WORD OR A SENTENCE, MAYBE SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE A CODE... SO IT STARTS WITH W... AND I THOUGHT W SPACE SOMETHING. W HOTEL!"
"YES, THAT'S THE CHEAPEST PLACE WE CAN DO THAT"
"HOW YOU KNOW IT???"
"I WENT THERE TO MAKE SOME QUESTIONS"
"OH, I SEE..."
"AND THE SECOND PART OF THE RIDDLE???"
"YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING TO CHURCH THE OTHER DAY. AND YOU SAID IN THE RIDDLE, WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH... WATER. SO I TRIED TO GET INTO CATHOLIC STUFF. AND REMEMBERED. THERE WAS NO WINE, AND JOSH MADE WINE OUT OF WATER"
"YEAH. WELL DONE. YOU WON IN JEOPARDY!!!"
"THAT'S THE HUGEST THING YOU'VE BEEN ASKING TO SAINT TERESA OF LOS ANDES... RIGHT???"
"YEP"
"AND YOU WERE LEARNING FRENCH AND YOU LEARNED AND A FEW MONTHS LATER IN FRANCE THE MUTANT MARRIAGE GOT APPROVED"
"YEAH, SHE DID THAT"
"SO YOU DON'T KNOW IF WE ARE WONNA LEAVE TO PARIS OR NEW YORK AT SOME POINT"
"EXACTLY"
"WHAT DO YOU PREFFER???"
"I PREFFER NEW YORK, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF PARIS IS BETTER"
"WHY NOT?"
"CAUSE MY BLOG IS PRINCIPALLY VIEWED BY PEOPLE OF THE STATES AND NOT FRANCE, MEANING MY PAINTINGS ARE NOT THEIR FAVORITE THING, I GUESS, OR THEY DON'T LOOK AT IT CAUSE IT'S IN ENGLISH. BUT I LOVE NEW YORK. PLUS, IN EUROPE THERE ARE A LOT OF RULES UNSPOKEN TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE AND EACH COUNTRY HAS ITS OWN RULES UNSPOKEN AND THEY ARE SO COMPLICATED!!! AND IF YOU DON'T GET THE RULES UNSPOKEN THEY DON'T TALK TO YOU OR SEND YOU TO HELL. IN THE STATES THERE ARE RULES UNSPOKEN FOR THE SAME REASON, BUT THEY ARE KINDA STANDARIZED AND THEY ARE BASED IN LOGIC, NOT IN MOOD, SO"
"GOD, SEEMS TO ME YOU'RE PLANNING TO LEAVE CHILE SINCE A LONG TIME AGO..."
"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. SINCE I GOT INTO ART SCHOOL"
"OH, I SEE..."
"YOU'RE NOT ANGRY???"
"YEAH... WELL A LITTLE"
"YES, "YOU" ARE ANGRY A LITTLE. JUST THINK ABOUT IT A LITTLE BIT MORE. THAT'S THE HOMEWORK OF TODAY!!! HAHAHAHA"
"SO TO HAVE THE VISA ELECTRON I HAVE TO MAKE A PHONE CALL TO A BANK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL I'VE GOT TO DO! THIS HAS TO WORK!"
"YOU'RE NOT BLUE TODAY..." I SAID.
"NOPE."
"WHY? WHAT HAPPENNED???"
"NOTHING"
"CUB, TELL ME..."
"NO, IT'S JUST I CANNOT BE BLUE ALL THE TIME. IT'S IN MY BLOOD. ANYWAY, I CANNOT BE BLUE AS I'M A PRO AND I DON'T WANT TO PAINT LIKE GIGER, SO..."
"YES. YOU'RE NOT BLUE"
SUDDENLY WE FOUND A PHONE BOX.
"THIS PHONE BOX LOOKS BRITISH" I SAID.
"YES, MUST HAVE BEEN PUT HERE BY A SNOB DESIGNER. THAT'S A TAUTOLOGY AS USUALLY ALL DESIGNERS ARE SNOBS. I STUDIED DESIGN SO I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT..."
SO THE CUB ENTERED THE PHONE BOX AND I TRIED TO ENTER TOO.
"DON'T ENTER PLEASE?"
"WHY? I CANNOT HEAR THE CONVERSATION???"
"LOOK. I'M ANGRY. AND WHEN I'M ANGRY I SAY THE THINGS ALL THE WAY AROUND AND YOU MISUNDERSTAND AND TAKE IT PERSONALLY, SO STAY AWAY"
"NOPE"
"DREAM OF MY DREAMS, FIRE OF MY LOINS.... MY HEADACHE!!!... MY LOVE MY SIN!"
"NO WAY"
"ALRIGHT, BUT I TOLD YOU. DON'T MAKE ME SAY LATER I TOLD YOU SO..."
SO I ENTERED AND THE CUB COULD NOT REMEMBER THE NUMBER.
"GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TRY WITH THESE NUMBERS TO SEE IF..." SAID MY LITTLE CUB PRESSING SOME BUTTONS.
AND SUDDENLY, THE PHONE BOX GOT CLOSSED AND THE FLOOR WHERE WE WERE STANDING, STARTED TO GO DOWN.
"SOMETHING MAKES ME THINK THAT WHEN YOU DIAL A WRONG NUMBER HERE, YOU GET SENT TO THE SEWERS..." SAID THE CUB AS CALM AS BUDHA.
"HOW THE HELL ARE WE GONNA GET OUT???"
"SWIMMING??? I DON' KNOW, MIKE, WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT"
THE FLOOR STOPPED MOVING AND A DOOR OPENED
"WELCOME TO THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC" SAID THE VOICE OF A POLITE WOMAN.
"WE'RE NOT WIZARDS" SAID THE CUB "LET'S PRETEND WE ARE OR WE WILL GET KICKED OUT OF THIS PLACE"
"SURE... YOU READ ALL HARRY POTTER BOOKS, RIGHT? CAUSE I DON'T WANNA GET LOST IN THIS PLACE"
"SORRY, I DON'T HAVE A MARAUDER'S MAP OF THIS PLACE"
"WHAT???!!!"
"LOOK, TRY TO SEE THE SILVER LINING HERE. WE DID NOT GET HERE THROUGH A WC... SO DON'T COMPLAIN, FINE?"
"YES, YOU ARE ANGRY"
SO WE WALKED AND WENT INTO AN ELEVATOR AND GOT LOST AND THEN WE STARTED WALKING THROUGH SOME CORRIDORS. AT SOME POINT WE GOT TO A BIG PLACE FULL OF GLASS SPHERES.
"I CAN'T SEE NOTHING HERE" SAID THE CUB "LET'S USE THE LIGHTS OF OUR CELL PHONES.
SO WE DID.
"THIS PLACE IS ETERNAL. IT'S LIKE WE'LL NEVER GET OUT"
"I HAVE AN IDEA" SAID THE CUB "WHEN WE GET OUT OF THIS BIG PLACE, WE WILL TALK TO A WIZARD AND TELL WE ARE NOT WIZARDS SO WE WILL GET KICKED OUT FROM THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC AND WE'LL GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE, HOW'S THAT?"
"CLEVER. AND NICE. GOOD IDEA"
SO WE WERE WALKING AND I STARTED LOOKING AT SOME GLASS SPHERES.
"CUB. THIS GLASS SPHERE HAS YOUR NAME ON IT"
"REALLY??? LET ME SEE..."
SO HE TOOK IT AND A CLUMSY WOMAN WITH GIANT GLASSES WAS INSIDE. SHE LOOKED HIGH. AND SHE STARTED TALKING.
"WHAT THE HELL???" I SAID.
"OH IT'S A PROPHECY"
SO WE HEARD WHAT THE HIGH WOMAN WAS SAYING.
"THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE BEAR CUB'S SECOND IMPACT SCAR APPROACHES... BORN TO THOSE WHO MADE MILO, BAZ LUHRMANN, AND OLYMPICS GAMES, BORN ON THE FIRST HALF OF THE FOURTH MONTH... AND THE BEAR CUB WILL MARK HIM AS HIS EQUAL, BUT HE WILL HAVE POWER THE BEAR CUB KNOWS NOT... AND EITHER MUST HUG IN THE ARMS OF THE OTHER FOR NEITHER CAN LIVE WHILE THE OTHER'S NOT AROUND... THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE BEAR CUB'S SECOND IMPACT SCAR WILL BE BORN ON THE FIRST HALF OF THE FOURTH MONTH..."
"SHIT!!!!!!!!!" SHOUTED THE CUB HOLDING HIS HEAD, DROPPING THE PROPHECY AND THE PROPHECY SHATTERED AS IT GOT TO THE FLOOR.
"CUB YOU BROKE THE PROPHECY!"
"I JUST DROPPED IT! IT BROKE ON ITS OWN! YOU WANT TO HEAR IT AGAIN???!!!"
"I DO"
"YOU WHAT???"
"OH, YES. IT STARTS WITH W AND HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH WATER!!! I GOT IT"
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
