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Saturday, August 17, 2013

MY BOYFRIEND CAN'T STOP SAYING THE WORD "SHADES" !!!! (HELP)

SO MY BOYFRIEND SAYS THAT NOBODY IS HIPERSEXUAL, SO WHY THEY READ THE FIFTY SHADES? AND HE ALSO SAYS THAT NOBODY TALKS WELL ABOUT THE (READ THIS) """""THREE""""" BOOKS. SO WE WONDER WHEN PEOPLE LEARNED TO READ, IT WAS BACK THEN WHEN HARRY POTTER GOT PUBLISHED????

O.o

ANYWAY. SO EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT THE FIFTY SHADES AND MISTER CHRISTIAN GREY (THAT'S THE NAME? o.O )

WELL, THE STUD MUFFIN HAD NO BETTER IDEA THAN STARTED SAYING WE (I REPEAT """"WE"""") HAVE MORE THAN FIFTY SHADES. WE HAVEN'T EVEN READ THE THREE CRAPPY BOOKS!!!!! ( TT_TT SHIT!)

WHEN WE ONLY TIE EACH OTHER... FROM TIME TO TIME. I THINK THAT'S VERY NORMAL, AND YOU WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG, AND HAVE READ THE THREE BOOKS ABOUT THE SHADES, I WILL UNDERSTAND IF YOU CONSIDER US A PAIR OF HIPER-OLD-FASHIONED NUNS BECAUSE OF THAT.

SO NOW HE WANTS TO DRESS LIKE A COP, FIREMAN, SPORTS GEARS AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

ALL THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS PURELY FICTIONAL, BUT SOMEWHAT INSPIRED IN REALITY, SO ANY RESSEMBLANCE WITH REAL OR FICTIONAL FACTS, IS PURELY AND INTENTIONALLY COINCIDENTIAL.

AND UNEVITABLE.

COULD YOU STUD MUFFIN PLEASE ----STOP!!!!--- SAYING THAT???

SO MY BOYFRIEND STARTED READING THE CLOW CARDS AND THEN WE SAW THE WHOLE ANIME OF SAKURA CARDCAPTORS. HELL YEAH! LOVE WATCHING TV WITH THE STUD HUGGING ME. PLUS WE WATCH WHAT WE WANT, SO WE ARE NOT ATTACHED TO TV o.O

THEN HE GOT A TAROT THAT HAS A COOL SUBJECT BUT AWFUL DRAWINGS, THUS, THE BEAR CUB DECIDED TO BUY MORE TAROTS, BUT THEY HAD TO LOOK COOL AND OTHER THEMES.
NOW, WHENEVER HE HAS THE CHANCE, HE SHOWS OFF ONE OF HIS DECKS. PEOPLE SOMETIMES GET SCARED ABOUT TAROT (I DON'T KNOW WHY AS PAPER AND DRAWINGS CAN DO PEOPLE NO HARM).
SO MY IMMACULATE SIN TAKES THIS CHANCES TO START SAYING THIS SHIT (YES, I JUST WROTE SHIT, TWO TIMES) WHENEVER HE HAS THE CHANCE.

HE TELLS PEOPLE:

TO READ TAROT, YOU HAVE TO DO IT IN SAINT JOHN'S NIGHT UNDER A FIG TREE, THEN YOU HAVE TO KILL A BLACK CAT AND THEN TEAR IT OPEN WITH A KNIFE (SHIT!!!), THEN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE BLOOD AND INNARDS OUT (FUCKING SHIT!!!) AND ASK FOR THE MYSTIC ALMIGHTY POWERS OF UNIVERSE (DONE TT_TT FUCK THE FUCKING SHIT!!!)

HE'S TOLD ME THE STORY SO MANY TIMES IT GETS BORING.
AND I ALWAYS SAY: HONEY, DON'T YOU SEE YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF?
AND THE CUPCAKE ANSWERS: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING???
THEN WE BOTH SAY: HAVING YOUR HEAD!!!

IT'S SO FUNNY WE CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. THIS GUY'S GONNA KILL ME.

IN BRIGHTEST DAY, IN BLACKEST NIGHT

THIS EVIL DID ESCAPE MY SIGHT. I KNEW IT WHEN I SAW MY BOYFRIEND SMILING, THEN JUMPING ON ME AND SAYING "PLEASE HUGE ME!!!". SOUNDED TO ME LIKE HE WANTED TO BE HUGGED HARD IN THE POURING RAIN (????) SOMETIMES LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AND THE ROAD GETS TOUGH. BUT I DID KNOW WHY.

THE POOR FIRE OF MY LOINS CAME TO ME LIKE A SMILINGE PUP AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE WAS WETTING MY SHIRT WITH HIS TEARS. (AWESOME). AND HE TOLD ME THE WHOLE STORY.

HE WAS TOLD BY "THIS WOMAN" SOMETHING SO UGLY IT GAVE ME THE CREEPS :S
IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT SOME LANGUAGE THAT THE STUD LEARNED TO SPEAK IN SIX MONTHS. I STILL WONDER HOW HE DID IT. AND THIS WOMAN OF AGE (?) HEIGHT (?) WEIGHT (?) GOOD LOOKING LEVEL (?), TOLD HIM THAT THE BEST WAY, NO MATTER WHAT SHIT (YES, SHE SAID "SHIT") YOU LIKE, MEN OR WOMEN, THE BEST WAY TO LEARN THAT LANGUAGE WAS BETWEEN THE SHEETS WITH SOMEONE WHO KNEW HOW TO SPEAK THIS LANGUAGE. SO MY BOYFRIEND IN HIS INNOCENT MIND ASKED HER HOW MUCH LONGER THAT WOULD TAKE. AND THIS WOMAN TOLD HIM THAT IT DEPPENDED ON HOW MANY TIMES AND OFTEN YOU GOT LAID, AND THEN SHE ADDED (TAKE YOUR PLAIN BAG!!!!), " 'CAUSE I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE... YOU KNOW?"

WELL, IT DID TAKE MY BOYFRIEND AN ETERNAL PAINFULL WAIT OF FIVE MINUTES STARING AT THE WOMAN, WITH AN "I HAVE NO CLUE" FACE, TO UNDERSTAND, THE WOMAN WAS MAKING HER BEST (AND MOST INSOLENT AND HURTFUL) EFFORT TO GET IN BED WITH ---MY--- BEAR CUB.

SO WE DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE GONNA BUY A LEMON PIE TO THROW TO HER HEAD OR SOMETHING. 'CAUSE IT TOOK ME MORE THAN AN HOUR TO SHEER HIM UP AND HE'S ALWAYS SO HAPPY.

DAMMIT!

THE TWILIGHT ZONE

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