IN BRIGHTEST DAY, IN BLACKEST NIGHT

THIS EVIL DID ESCAPE MY SIGHT. I KNEW IT WHEN I SAW MY BOYFRIEND SMILING, THEN JUMPING ON ME AND SAYING "PLEASE HUGE ME!!!". SOUNDED TO ME LIKE HE WANTED TO BE HUGGED HARD IN THE POURING RAIN (????) SOMETIMES LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AND THE ROAD GETS TOUGH. BUT I DID KNOW WHY.

THE POOR FIRE OF MY LOINS CAME TO ME LIKE A SMILINGE PUP AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE WAS WETTING MY SHIRT WITH HIS TEARS. (AWESOME). AND HE TOLD ME THE WHOLE STORY.

HE WAS TOLD BY "THIS WOMAN" SOMETHING SO UGLY IT GAVE ME THE CREEPS :S
IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT SOME LANGUAGE THAT THE STUD LEARNED TO SPEAK IN SIX MONTHS. I STILL WONDER HOW HE DID IT. AND THIS WOMAN OF AGE (?) HEIGHT (?) WEIGHT (?) GOOD LOOKING LEVEL (?), TOLD HIM THAT THE BEST WAY, NO MATTER WHAT SHIT (YES, SHE SAID "SHIT") YOU LIKE, MEN OR WOMEN, THE BEST WAY TO LEARN THAT LANGUAGE WAS BETWEEN THE SHEETS WITH SOMEONE WHO KNEW HOW TO SPEAK THIS LANGUAGE. SO MY BOYFRIEND IN HIS INNOCENT MIND ASKED HER HOW MUCH LONGER THAT WOULD TAKE. AND THIS WOMAN TOLD HIM THAT IT DEPPENDED ON HOW MANY TIMES AND OFTEN YOU GOT LAID, AND THEN SHE ADDED (TAKE YOUR PLAIN BAG!!!!), " 'CAUSE I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE... YOU KNOW?"

WELL, IT DID TAKE MY BOYFRIEND AN ETERNAL PAINFULL WAIT OF FIVE MINUTES STARING AT THE WOMAN, WITH AN "I HAVE NO CLUE" FACE, TO UNDERSTAND, THE WOMAN WAS MAKING HER BEST (AND MOST INSOLENT AND HURTFUL) EFFORT TO GET IN BED WITH ---MY--- BEAR CUB.

SO WE DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE GONNA BUY A LEMON PIE TO THROW TO HER HEAD OR SOMETHING. 'CAUSE IT TOOK ME MORE THAN AN HOUR TO SHEER HIM UP AND HE'S ALWAYS SO HAPPY.

DAMMIT!