"SEX & THE CITY" TAROT CARDS!!!!!

WELL ABOUT THE ACE OF CUPS WHAT MY STUD SAID???
"YOU KNOW, ONCE IN AN ART EXHIBIT OPENING I DRANK A COSMOPOLITAN AND HAD NO IDEA!!!! EVERYBODY WAS LOOKING!!! WHEN I REALIZED A WEEK LATER, I FELT SO AWKWARD!!!! YOU KNOW IF I'M GONNA MAKE SOMETHING PLAINLY AMBIGUOUS I PREFERE TO BE TOTALLY CONSCIOUS OF WHAT I'M GONNA DO! SHIT! I DON'T REMEMBER EVEN HOW THAT TASTES!!!!!"

HERE THE CARDS

THE EMPRESS                               THE EMPEROR     

           

 THE DEVIL

 

 JUSTICE                                       HIGH PRIESTESS

 

 THE LOVERS REVERSED

 

 DEATH                                                                        ABSOLUT ZERO OF SWORDS

 

 THE FOOL

 

 THE HANGED MAN                                                              TEMPERANCE

 

QUEEN OF SWORDS

 

THE STAR

 

 JUDGEMENT

 

 THE LOVERS

 

 THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE

(WATCH OUT!!!)

 

 THE SUN                                                 THE MOON

 

 QUEEN OF CUPS                                         QUEEN OF PENTACLES

 TWO OF CUPS

 

 ACE OF CUPS

 

THE WORLD

I FEEL SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!!!!

"YOU KNOW MIKE" SAID THE CUB IN A VERY SERIOUS TENSE "THIS BLOG IS THE BEEEEST THERAPY EVER!!!!"

 

O.O!

"YYY-----EEAH?"

 

"HELL YEAH! IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN BACH FLOWER REMEDIES, FOR SURE..."

 

O.O'

"OH... I SEE..."

 

"LOOK, IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL SOOO GOOD... FOR REAL!!! I FEEL SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!"

 

"SO I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOU'LL.. LOVE ME FOREVER? SOMETHING LIKE THAT"

 

"MMM... YEAH. KINDA" SAID THE CUB SCRATCHING HIS HEAD

 

"OH. WELL. TOLD YOU THE BLOG WAS A GOOD IDEA. YOU WERE NOT VERY SURE ABOUT IT... REMEMBER?"

 

"I REMEMBER. LIKE I FREAKED OUT N'WOULD SAY... SOMETHING TELLS ME... IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. MAYBE THAT GUY WHO CREATED THE M&M'S WAS TOLD THE SAME THING ONCE UPON A TIME... YEAH. I THINK THAT"

 

"NOW YOU'RE FORREST GUMP???" O.o

 

"MMMM... NO. NOT REALLY. I COULDN'T RUN FOR A YEAR TO INVENT THE SMILE T-SHIRTS. NO. I'M NOT THAT GUY"

 

"IT'S COOL YOU FEEL GOOD"

 

"VERY GOOD"

 

"WHAT YOU'LL DO TODAY???"

 

"I FOUND A PLACE WHERE THEY SELL STAINLESS STEEL EARRINGS AT A SO CHEAP PRICE. SO I'LL GO BUY MORE. PLUS I HAVEN'T SEEN THOSE KIND OF EARRINGS ANYWHERE ELSE... YEP. I'LL DO THAT"

 

"SO YOU'RE NOW COLLECTING... EARRINGS. ALONG WITH MANGA, CONTEMPORARY LITERATURE, NIETZSCHE AND HERMANN HESSE BOOKS, MADONNA BOOKS, U.S. COMICS, EUROPEAN COMICS, PERFUMES, CHINESE SUNGLASSES, T-SHIRTS, ART BOOKS, UNDERWEAR, MERCHANDISING TOYS, TAROT DECKS, AND GARBAGE IN YOUR ROOM"

 

"HELL YEAH!!! AND THEY COST FOUR BUCKS!!!"

 

"OH"

O.o

GREAT!!!

SO HE HAS ANOTHER COLLECTION. THAT'S WHY NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE PUT IN ORDER IN HIS ROOM CAUSE OF LACK OF FURNITURE...

 

 

VAMPIRE DIARIES SUCK!!!

"WELL" SAID THE CUB "FIRST OF ALL... I HAVE NO IDEA HOW STEFAN HAS A TATTOO"

 

"WHAT???" I SAID.

 

"YES, HE HAS A TATTOO IN A SHOULDER. THE RIGHT SHOULDER, IF I'M NOT WRONG..."

 

"REALLY???"

 

"OH HONEY, WE JUST WATCHED TEN CHAPTERS, YOU DID NOT SEE THAT??? YES, I BELIEVE YOU"

 

"WHAT?"

 

"NOTHING. I'M JUST SAYING THAT VAMPIRES HEAL FAST AND HOW THEN STEFAN HAS A TATTO??? A WITCH DID IT??? I DON'T THINK SO..."

 

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

 

"HE CAN'T HAVE A TATTOO!!! IT'S A LOW BUDGET TV SHOW!!!"

 

"AH. YES. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHY ELENA IS SO CRUEL WITH STEFAN. IS IT NOT STEFAN SUPPOSSED TO BE THE """BAD GUY"""???"

 

"I THINK SHE'S A BLACK WIDOW. WE GOT TO THE MIDDLE OF FIRST SEASON AND ALL OF A SUDDEN STEFAN SAID """WE HAVE NOT DONE IT YET"".... ?????????????????? MIKE, I'LL PUKE!!! SO FAR SHE HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN AFTER, YOU KNOW, WHAT THEY DO IN PRIVATE...???"

 

"MAYBE ELENA HAS AN ELECTRA COMPLEX BUT THINKS STEFAN IS HER REAL FATHER SO SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANTS TO KILL HIM"

 

"YOU DID THE IMPOSIBLE MIKE, YOU MADE FREUD SOUND UGLIER THAN HIMSELF!!! LOOK. I JUST SAY THIS VAMPIRE HAS NO BALLS. AND THAT IS NOT A VAMPIRE. BRAM STOKER MUST BE SHAKING IN HIS COUFFIN!!!"

 

"WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THE STRONG MORALINE DOSIS IN THE """VAMPIRE (???)""" TV SHOW???"

 

"MIKE NOT EVEN IN CHURCH PEOPLE TALK LIKE THAT... THAT I KNOW..."

 

"WHY YOU GO TO CHURCH???"

 

"I CAN'T TELL, I'M STEFAN!!!"

 

"YEAH o.O"

 

"I GO FOR A BLUE NOSTALGIC THING. MAYBE CAUSE I'M ROMANTIC (MEANING ROMANTICISM IN ART) I HAVE NOSTALGY OF MY GOLDEN AGE. YOU KNOW LONG AGO MY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD DID NOT WORK VERY WELL BUT WHAT I HAVE NOW IS JUST DISRESPECTFULL. PLUS IT'S LIKE ALL CHILEAN CHURCHES HAVE AN IMAGE OF SAINT TERESA OF LOS ANDES!!! IDOL!!! YOU KNOW?"

 

"SO VAMPIRE DIARIES IS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN SEVENTH HEAVEN, SESAME STREET AND TWILIGHT, RIGHT?"

 

"YEAH, YOU FORGOT TO SAY COUNT DUCKULA, BUT KINDA. CAN'T YOU BELIEVE A VAMPIRE THING CAN BE MORE EMO THAN TWILIGHT??? IT'S CLEARLY THE WORST TV SHOW I'VE SEEN SINCE I WAS--- PUP"

 

"I JUST THINK STEFAN IS PLAINLY STUPID OR ONLY MASOCHIST"

 

"OR BOTH"

-------------------

-------------

----

SO WE ARE WATCHING VAMPIRE DIARIES

"I JUST CANNOT GET THAT GIRL ELENA" SAID THE CUB "IT'S ELENA, RIGHT? CAUSE AS I DON'T LIKE THE CHARACTER I WILL FORGET HER NAME SOONER THAN LATER, FOR SURE"

 

"WHAT?"

 

"SHE'S JUST... PERTURBINGLY... HUMAN"

 

"BUT YOU'RE MORE HUMAN. MORE SENSITIVE, THE WAY YOU DIALOGUE AND SOLVE PROBLEMS... BUT MANIPULATIVE. LIKE YOU PUT ERIC NORTHMAN, GODRIC AND LILLY VAN DER WOODSEN IN THE JUICE MAKER AND... TA DAAAN! HERE YOU ARE"

 

"THE POINT IS: SHE'S JUST HYSTERIC ABOUT ALL. OKAY, THERE'S A DEAD BODY. SHE HAS TO MAKE A BIG DEAL? AND THE BOYFRIEND IS A VAMPIRE AND SHE'S LIKE ALL """OH, I GET IT, OKAY!!!""" SHE'S IMMATURE AND MAKES BIG DEAL FOR ALL.."

 

"WELL. SHE'S A GIRL."

 

"LOOK. IN ALIEN RESURRECTION WINONA RYDER PLAYS THE ROLE OF CALL. RIGHT? AND SHE WAS SO HUMAN SHE MADE MISTAKES ALL THE TIME, BUT WAS SENSITIVE AND FOOL AND... YOU KNOW WHAT? AT THE END SHE WAS AN ANDROID!!! AND ELLEN REPLEY WOULD SAY """WELL THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH!!! SHE'S JUST TOO HUMAN TO BE HUMAN""" SHE SAID THAT, NOT ME!"

 

"OR MAYBE SHE'S JUST A TEENAGER"

 

"WELL, CLEARLY SHE'S HOT AND LIKES TO SHOW OFF ALL HER BODY WITH TIGHT JEANS AND SHOWING BELLY SHIRTS. BUT HER ATTITTUDE IS LIKE """DON'T TOUCH ME!!!""" SHE IS SO CONFUSED..."

 

"MAYBE SHE'LL CHANGE HER ATTITUDE AND DEVELOP JUDGEMENT CRITERIA IN SEASON TWO"

 

"SHE'S JUST ANNOYING. AND STEFAN IS AFTER HER ONLY CAUSE SHE LOOKS LIKE... HIS PAST LOST LOVE A CENTURY AGO. IT'S LIKE """GET THE HINT, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!! GET OVER IT!!! IT WAS A CENTURY AGO!!!""" YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???"

 

"OR HE HAS HOPE IN... SOMETHING"

 

"WELL SO FAR IS CLEAR... YOU KNOW? IN THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS SHE REJECTED AND DUMPED STEFAN LIKE TEN TIMES AND THEN SHE MADE UP WITH HIM. SHE'S LUCKY VAMPIRES ARE STRONGER EMOTIONALLY..."

 

"WHAT'S SO ANNOYING ABOUT HER?"

 

"WELL. SHE TALKS TOO MUCH. AND MAKES TOO MANY QUESTIONS. AND THOSE QUESTIONS ARE DEVELOPEMENT QUESTIONS. AND SHE WANTS ALL ANSWERS AND KNOW ALL. AND THEN SHE KNOWS A LITTLE BIT AND STEFAN TELLS HER NOT TO TELL ANYONE. AND SHE'S LIKE """I'M NOT ABLE TO KEEP ANY SECRET!!!""", AND WE ALL THINK """WELL, STEFAN DID RIGHT NOT TELLING A THING""". I MEAN. NOBODY ANSWERS DEVELOPEMENT QUESTIONS!!! GET REAL ELENA!!! OVERALL IF THERE'S A CENTURY OF THINGS TO TELL AND SHE GOES """TRUST IS EARNED. AND YOU DON'T TALK? I WANT TO KNOW ALL! YOU CAN PLAY MISTERY MAN BUT NOT WITH ME... OR WE ARE OVER!!!""" I JUST DON'T GET HER!"

 

"I INSIST IT'S CAUSE SHE'S A GIRL"

 

"MIKE. PAM OF TRUE BLOOD IS A GIRL TOO. AND SHE'S NOT THAT STUPID AND IMMATURE. I JUST SAY ELENA GOT STUCK IN THE GOLDEN AGE"

 

----------------------------

·GOLDEN AGE

 

ENCYCLOPEDIA OF WORLDWIDE MEANINGS:

 

"GOOGLE IT"

-------------------------------

 

"I DUNNO. I LIKE HER"

 

"YOU DO??? I FEEL OFFENDED" SAID THE CUB.

 

"WELL SHE'S GOOD LOOKING."

 

"OH! C'MON!!! SHE IS. BUT IF SHE DID NOT TALK... I MEAN...  YOU REALLY WOULD BEAR HER??? NO, YOU WOULDN'T. YOU WOULDN'T TALK TOO MUCH WHEN WE JUST MET, I WASN'T DEMANDING TO KNOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE... AND I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE QUESTIONS EITHER, WE ARE THE SAME. OVERALL DEVELOPEMENT QUESTIONS. YOU KNOW? ELENA SHOULD GO TO COLLEGE TO STUDY """STEFAN BEHAVIOUR UNDERSTANDING""" IN EIGHT SEMESTERS SHE WOULD RUIN ALL HER SCORES FOR SURE. I MEAN... COLLEGE, MIKE!!!"

 

"WELL, IN THE END STEFAN HAS ALL ETERNITY TO WAIT FOR ELENA TO JUST GROW UP. WITH ALL THAT TIME... HE CAN BE PATIENT... DON'T YOU THINK???"

 

"YEAH?" SAID THE CUB

BEAR CUB DIARIES

DEAR DIARY.

 

I'M NOT A BELIEVER. JUSTIN BIEBER SUCKS AND SINGS LIKE THE ASS. GOD IS BLACKMAILING HIM TO TALK GOOD ABOUT HIM. I READ ABOUT THAT IN THE BOOK OF JOB (BIBLE?). PEOPLE ARE BORN THIS WAY, THEY GROW OLD, DECAY, BECOME OLD FASHIONED, LOOK LIKE DRIED FRUIT, HAVE NO SEX AND NO FUN, AND THEN DIE.

THAT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN! MORE'S THE PITY!!!

BUT HOW CAN I DENY WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?

SOMEONE WHO NEVER GROWS OLD, NEVER DRINKS, DOES NOT CONSUME SUGAR.

CANNOT EAT FAT OR WOULD FEEL NUMB AND DIZZY.

DOES NOT WATCH THE NEWS OR OPEN TV...(???)

NEVER GETS HURT, CAUSE WHAT COULD NOT KILL HIM MADE HIM STRONGER.

SOMEONE WHO CHANGES IN WAY ONLY HERMANN HESSE CAN EXPLAIN.

GIRLS AND BOYS BITTEN, AND BODIES DRAINED OF BLOOD.

 

BEAR CUB... WHAT ARE YOU???

 

WE ALL LOVE RYAN GOSLING!!!!

WELL HE JUST DOES WHATEVER HE WANTS AND WHAT OTHERS THINK... SUCK IT!!!

HE JUST LAUGHS ABOUT IT!!!

AND WE ALL ADORE HIM.

LET'S JUST SAY CANADIANS ARE MORE IN THE EUROPEAN MOOD, MEANING HE COULD BEFRIEND (WITH BENEFITS?) TOM HARDY, SOMETHING LIKE IT...

O.o 

 

SO WE WIL START WITH HISTORY:

 

RYAN GOSLING IS ONE OF THE EX-MEMBERS OF THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB, ALONG WITH BRITNEY SPEARS, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA.

THEN HE WENT INTO INDEPENDENT FILMS CAREER.

AND NOW HE IS JUST MAINSTREAM.

TA DAAAAN!!!

MASTER!

 

NOW WE WILL EXPLORE SOME IMAGES, ALRIGHT?

 

FIRST: AMBIGUOUS PICTURES

 

 

 

NOW, RELAX, AND KEEP CALM WE ALL KNOW RYAN GOSLING IS A COOL GUY. WE ALL SAW THE NOTEBOOK, LARS AND THE REAL GIRL, AND GANGSTER SQUAD AND EVERYTHING ELSE. SO JUST KEEP CALM, OK?

 

SO WE WONDER WICH IS HIS KINSEY SCALE NUMBER

 

 

 

AND THE CONCLUSION?

WE HAVE NO IDEA

 

NOW MORE PICTURES

THIS IS HOW PEOPLE JOKE ABOUT ALL THIS IN THE NET

TAKE A LOOK

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT I THINK?

THIS GUY'S LIKE FLASH, THE SUPERHERO

AND PLAYS DEAD AND... WHAT I REMEMBER???

MY CUB!!!

MY CUB AND HIS -I DON'T KNOW I'M WINKING- SMILE!!!!!

YOU CUB OF THE HELL!!!

WHAT WORSENS THINGS IN MY CUB IS HE IS A TOTAL MALE!

SO NORMAL SO MUCH TESTOSTERONE SO MUCH BODY HAIR

SO MUCH MEAT!!! >_<

SHIT!!!

HE CANNOT BE A LITTLE AMIGUOUS???

GIVING HOPE TO GIRLS AND ALL THAT???

PLAYING TOUGH AND REBEL AND COLD AND HOT AND ROCK STAR!!!

DAMMIT!!!

CUB OF HELL!!!

I LOVE HIM TT_TT

 

SO WE NOW GO TO THE MOST EXTREME THING RYAN GOSLING HAS DONE

WITH HIS MAINSTREAM IMAGE

LOOK WHAT HE DID WITH THE FILM DIRECTOR OF "DRIVE"

AT THE VERY CANNES RED CARPET!!!!

 



 

SO YES. HE DID IT. HE OVERPASSED THE MARLON BRANDO FRONTIER!!!

IDOL!!!