THERE IS NO SPOON

 

LA ISLA BONITA!!!!!!

 

 

SO I SAW HIM

 

"YOU'RE LATE" I SAID

 

"NO. COME"

 

"WHY WE ARE AT THE BEACH???"

 

"MIKE I LOVE YOUR ARM OVER MY SHOULDER"

 

"BUT TELL ME, YOU WANNA TALK, NO? THEN... WHY NOT???"

 

"YOU SEE THE SKY, LOOKS GREEEAT. AND ALWAYS BEING NEAR THE WAVES MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD"

 

"BUT CUB..."

 

"KUSS MICH"

 

"STRANGE YOU CUB SHOWING OFF YOUR BODY WASTE UP... WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT???"

 

"I JUST LIKE THE BEACH... YOU DON'T?"

 

"CUB..."

 

"MIKE... I WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR"

 

 

"WHY YOU'RE TELLING ME NOW???"

 

"DID YOU ASK?"

 

"WELL WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT...??? I AM ASKING NOW..."

 

"WELL, AFTER THAT I WENT TO TAKE THE SUBWAY... AND THERE WAS A LOT OF BLOND VERY GOOD LOOKING GUYS IN SUITS SO I THOUGHT "THEY'RE MORMONS"

 

"THEY COULD HAVE BEEN YUPPIES???"

 

"WELL... NOT... LOOK MIKE... THIS IS... SCIENCE"

 

CHILEAN + GOOD LOOKING = HARDLY EVER

 

BLOND + GOOD LOOKING = NOT CHILEAN

 

CHILEAN + BLOND + GOOD LOOKING = EMPTY SET

 

"THEY LOOKED AT YOU???"

 

"YEP. LIKE ALL PEOPLE. I LOOK OUTSTANDING, THAT'S NOT MY FAULT... NOTHING TO DO ABOUT IT!!! BUT THEY LOOK AT ME FOR ANOTHER REASON TOO. I GUESS THEY HAVE ESP, BUT I AM NOT VERY SURE"

 

"OH YES YOU ARE HUMBLE, LIKE ALWAYS. WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR EAR??? CAN I TAKE IT OUT???"

 

"DON'T BITE MY EAR, MIKE..."

 

"WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU?"

 

"I WILL. YOU LOOK SO GOOD WITH THAT HAT OVER YOUR HEAD"

 

"HEY DARK-HAIRED BOY. YOU LOOK GOOD!!!"

 

"SORRY GIRL, HE'S MINE"

 

"CUB THIS IS SOME... KIND OF... RIDDLE???"

 

"NO. THE SUN IS SETTING. I LOVE WHEN THE SUN SETS AND THE SKY LOOKS ORANGE. LIKE YOU WHEN YOUR SKIN IS WARM"

 

O.O'

 

"HEY, DON'T RUN AWAY!!!"

 

"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!!!"

 

"SO..."

 

"I DON'T NEED THE ANTI DEPRESSANTS ANYMORE"

 

"OH... I... SEE"

 

"THE PILLS TAKE TWO WEEKS TO MAKE EFFECT. IT WILL TAKE THREE WEEKS FOR ME TO LEAVE THEM"

 

"OH... SOUNDS... GOOD"

 

"SO WE'LL RECOVER OUR NORMAL PACE. BUT OUR BOND NOW IS STRONGER, AS WE WERE MAKING OUT A LOT TO FILL SOME BLANKS..."

 

"CUB..."

 

"I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU"

 "MIKE... YOU LOVE ME?"

 

"I... LOVE... YOU"

  

THERAPISTS PERSONALITY TESTS RESULTS

"OPEN YOUR ENVELOPE, CUB"

 

"NO! YOU FIRST"

 

"C'MON"

 

"HUM... I DUNNO"

 

"ALRIGHT"

 

MIKE

 

CUB

 

 

0101011011010010..................------------

 

 

 

 

 

CLAUDIA!!!!!????

CLAUDIA????

"SO YOU TOLD THE MORMON GIRLS I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND... NOT FUNNY, CUB!!!"

 

"WELL, I TOLD YOU AND YOU AGREED. THATS... "MY" FAULT?"

 

"BUT... I AM NOT!!! A GIRL!!!"

 

"I KNOW MIKE... YOU'RE NOT A GIRL"

 

NOT THE DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"I CANNOT BELIEVE MY FUCKING EX-COUSIN IS MARRYING IN APRIL!!!"

 

"YES, CUB, WE LOST FIRST SEMESTER"

 

"WHAT THE... FFFFUCK!!!"

 

"WELL ON SECOND THOUGHT WE REALIZED WE DIDN'T WANT OUR FATALITY DAY TO BE MADE IN ONE WEEK. WE CAN WAIT"

 

"YES... I FEEL SOOO RELIEEEEVEED ABOUT THAT"

 

"ME... TOO···O.o"

 

"HOPE IT RAINS THAT FUCKING DAY"

 

"LIKE... NOVEMBER RAIN"

 

"YEAH. OR WORSE. THINKING IF I DON'T HELP THAT... NUN... TO GET INTO MED SCHOOL... HE WOULD BE ALL DAY DRUNK AND PLAYING THE ELCTRIC BASS BY NOW!!!! THAT'S GRATTITUDE!!! FUCKER...!"

 

"LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. NOW WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN STAND BY FOR DEATH LIST FIVE, MAYBE WE'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM AFTER APRIL. AND YOU INVITED A FRIEND AND SAID "I WOULD KILL TO GO!!!", SO SHE GOES WITH HER BOUFRIEND AND... YOU SEE? THERE'S NO RUSH. AND YOUR BROTHER IS NOT INVITED"

 

"YEAH. MY GRANNY, GODMOTHER, HIGH PRIESTESS, SAID I HAD TO FORGIVE HIM. AFTER READING WHAT OSCAR WILDE SAYS ABOUT FORGIVING ENEMIES, IT WAS SO EASY TO DO IT. SO I DID WHAT SHE WANTED. FROM WHEREVER SHE IS, THAT IS ENOUGH AND FOR SURE DOESN'T WANT DARTH VADER IN... THERE. SHE CARES ABOUT ME, WANTS THE BEST FOR ME, NOT THE OPPOSSITE"

 

"AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER??? DOLORES JANE UMBRIDGE???"

 

"INVITED, BUT SHE COMPLAINS ONCE, AND IS OUT OF THE PARTY"

 

"DEAL!!!!"

 

"SO WHEN I'M MOVING TO YOUR PLACE????"

 

"I EXPECT SOON. BUT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS IN BETWEEN.... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SOUNDS GOOD?"

 

"NOT GOOD ENOUGH, BUT GOOD"

 

"WANNA PLAY DOCTOR???"

 

"NOPE"

 

"KUSS MICH OURSON"

 

BEETHOVEN LOOOOVED THE COUNTRY

 

"BEETHOVEN LOOOVED THE COUNTRY"

 

"WELL, I  DON'T. I HATE IT"

 

"CUB, THAT'S WHAT SHROEDER SAYS"

 

"I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS... PLUS, AGAIN. I HATE THE COUNTRY!!!"

 

"JUST RELAX, I'M DRIVING I HAVE ALL UNDER CONTROL"

 

"AS ALWAYS MIKE"

 

"TRUST ME"

 

"???!!!"

 

"ALRIGHT!"

 

"YOU SEE THOSE HOUSES. THINKING THESE PEOPLE LIVE FAR AWAY FROM THE CITY AND ALL THE NOISE AND TRAFFIC JAMS"

 

"AND THEY LACK OF INTERNET, HELL YEAH, THAT'S COOL"

 

"CUB, YOU AGREED TO COME"

 

"MORE LIKE YOU LEFT NO OTHER CHOICE... THIS IS JUST... BORING!!!"

 

"WE ARE LISTENING TO MUSIC AND WE ARE GOING TO THE COUNTRY... WE'LL HAVE A BLAST"

 

"A BLAST... YOUR ASS"

 

"CUB, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE ATTITUDE???"

 

 

"NOTHING, SUGARPIE, WHITE CHOCOLATE, BLUEBERRY MUFFIN..."

 

"YOU SEE?"

 

"SHIT. I GOT LOST"

 

"TURN RIGHT"

 

"NO, I WON'T"

 

"MICHAEL. TURN RIGHT"

 

"I WILL TURN LEFT"

 

"DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU LATER "I TOLD YOU SO"

 

"C'MON! I'LL JUST TURN LEFT, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG"

 

"YEAH... MEIN GOT"

 

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL, TAKE IT EASY"

 

"YOU SEE? NO PROBLEM"

 

"OH, YES. MICHAEL"

 

"STOP! CALLING ME MICHAEL"

 

"DON'T MAKE ME"

 

"HEY LOOK, I CAME HERE TO HAVE FUN AND..."

 

 

"MIKE... :S"

 

"ALRIGHT"

 

"NOW WE ARE IN THE WOODS AND WE WILL CONNECT WITH MOTHER NATURE AND ALL THAT HIPPIE STUFF"

 

"MICHAEL???"

 

"O.o"

 

"-.-"

 

"CUB. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM???"

 

"NO ONE"

 

"YOU'RE SMILING? WHAT YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME??? HEY!"

 

BLAM!!!

 

 

"NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE THE WHEEL. JUST FIVE MINUTES!"

 

"MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU SO"

 

"YES, I WILL CHANGE THE... WHAT YOU SAID???"

 

"MICHAEL, I TOLD YOU SO"

 

"YOU'LL SAY IT THREE TIMES??? HEY, WHAT DID I DO WRONG NOW???"

 

"JUST LOOK OVER THERE, MIKE"

 

"YES? WELL LOOK OVER THERE CUB"

 

"AND OVER THERE AND OVER THERE"

 

"YOU DON'T CARE?"

 

"YOU'RE MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT NOTHING"

 

"LOOK, STUPID JOCK. WHY AM I THINKING YOU JUST TOOK THE WRONG TURN AND NOW I HAVE THE STRONG FEELING THAT THE HILLS HAVE EYES???"

 

"WHAT??? WHAT?"

 

"WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS PLACE"

 

"I SEE NO ONE"

 

"BUT ME"

 

"YES, BUT YOU"

 

"WHY YOU GET ANGRY IF YOU SCREWED UP AND NOW YOU ARE SCREWED? I TOLD YOU TO TURN RIGHT"

 

"WHY???"

 

"BECAUSE... OF... THOSE PEOPLE OVER THERE"

 

 

"TAKE OUT YOUR HATTORI HANZO STEEL, CUB"

 

"I ALREADY DID. YOU REALLY THINK I NEED TO BE TOLD TO DO SO, TO DO SO???"

 

 

"WELL. I'LL TAKE OUT MINE"

 

 

"I TOLD YOU CUB THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN"

 

"WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT LATER... THESE GUYS..."

 

"...ARE DEAD ONES"