"WELL" SAID THE CUB "FIRST OF ALL... I HAVE NO IDEA HOW STEFAN HAS A TATTOO"
"WHAT???" I SAID.
"YES, HE HAS A TATTOO IN A SHOULDER. THE RIGHT SHOULDER, IF I'M NOT WRONG..."
"REALLY???"
"OH HONEY, WE JUST WATCHED TEN CHAPTERS, YOU DID NOT SEE THAT??? YES, I BELIEVE YOU"
"WHAT?"
"NOTHING. I'M JUST SAYING THAT VAMPIRES HEAL FAST AND HOW THEN STEFAN HAS A TATTO??? A WITCH DID IT??? I DON'T THINK SO..."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"HE CAN'T HAVE A TATTOO!!! IT'S A LOW BUDGET TV SHOW!!!"
"AH. YES. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHY ELENA IS SO CRUEL WITH STEFAN. IS IT NOT STEFAN SUPPOSSED TO BE THE """BAD GUY"""???"
"I THINK SHE'S A BLACK WIDOW. WE GOT TO THE MIDDLE OF FIRST SEASON AND ALL OF A SUDDEN STEFAN SAID """WE HAVE NOT DONE IT YET"".... ?????????????????? MIKE, I'LL PUKE!!! SO FAR SHE HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN AFTER, YOU KNOW, WHAT THEY DO IN PRIVATE...???"
"MAYBE ELENA HAS AN ELECTRA COMPLEX BUT THINKS STEFAN IS HER REAL FATHER SO SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANTS TO KILL HIM"
"YOU DID THE IMPOSIBLE MIKE, YOU MADE FREUD SOUND UGLIER THAN HIMSELF!!! LOOK. I JUST SAY THIS VAMPIRE HAS NO BALLS. AND THAT IS NOT A VAMPIRE. BRAM STOKER MUST BE SHAKING IN HIS COUFFIN!!!"
"WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THE STRONG MORALINE DOSIS IN THE """VAMPIRE (???)""" TV SHOW???"
"MIKE NOT EVEN IN CHURCH PEOPLE TALK LIKE THAT... THAT I KNOW..."
"WHY YOU GO TO CHURCH???"
"I CAN'T TELL, I'M STEFAN!!!"
"YEAH o.O"
"I GO FOR A BLUE NOSTALGIC THING. MAYBE CAUSE I'M ROMANTIC (MEANING ROMANTICISM IN ART) I HAVE NOSTALGY OF MY GOLDEN AGE. YOU KNOW LONG AGO MY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD DID NOT WORK VERY WELL BUT WHAT I HAVE NOW IS JUST DISRESPECTFULL. PLUS IT'S LIKE ALL CHILEAN CHURCHES HAVE AN IMAGE OF SAINT TERESA OF LOS ANDES!!! IDOL!!! YOU KNOW?"
"SO VAMPIRE DIARIES IS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN SEVENTH HEAVEN, SESAME STREET AND TWILIGHT, RIGHT?"
"YEAH, YOU FORGOT TO SAY COUNT DUCKULA, BUT KINDA. CAN'T YOU BELIEVE A VAMPIRE THING CAN BE MORE EMO THAN TWILIGHT??? IT'S CLEARLY THE WORST TV SHOW I'VE SEEN SINCE I WAS--- PUP"
"I JUST THINK STEFAN IS PLAINLY STUPID OR ONLY MASOCHIST"
"OR BOTH"
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