"YOU KNOW LITTLE MONSTER...?" I SAID "YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!"
"SHIT!!! OH NO!!! I SEE IT COMING!" SAID THE CUB. "MIKE, CHILL, OUT. CHILL OUT"
"LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT MEEE, THAT BOY IS BAD, AND HONESTLY... HE'S AWOLF, IN DISGUIIIISEEE... BUT I CAN'T STOP STARING IN THOSE EVIL EYEEES..."
"SHIT!!! SHUT UP!!!"
"HE LICKED HIS LIIPS, SAID TO MEEE, BOY U LOOK GOOD... ENOUGH TO EEAT!!! PUT HIS ARMS AROUND MEEEE!!!"
"YES! NOW YOU'RE MY HEADACHE!!!"
"I WANNA... JUST DANCE!!! BUT HE TOOK ME HOME INSTEAD!!! OOOH OOOOH!!! THERE WAS A MONSTER IN MY BED!!! WE WET KISSED ON A SUBWAY TRAIN... HE TORE MY CLOTHES OFF..."
"SHUT UP!!! NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENNING!"
"YES IT IS!!! SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT I'VE SEEN HIM? YEAH! THAT BOY'S A MONSTER!!!"
"I'M WILLING FOR DROWNING IN THE EARTH... WHAT YOU DRANK MIKE!!!"
"NOTHING. I'M JUST SAYING ONCE YOU KILL A BULL, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE A BURGER!!!"
"HELL YEAH??? NOW YOU'RE MTV AND WE ARE WATCHING LADY GAGA'S VIDEOGRAPHY???? PLEASE CHILL OUT... YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOUR-"
"LOOK I'M JUST SAYING, WHY LADY GAGA MADE THE ALEJANDRO SONG IF THE SUBJECT IS THE LATIN LOVER...? YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING???"
"FUCK!!! WELL... YOU KNOW... I REMEMBER OLD HAPPY LADY GAGA TIMES BACK IN 2008 WHEN NOBODY KNEW HER AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE LISTENING TO HER, RIGHT? ALL THE FAME SONGS ARE JUST AWESOME AND ADDICTIVE, BUT SHE FELL OF MY PEDESTAL ONCE SHE MADE THE BAD ROMANCE SONG, YOU KNOW, SHE WENT TO GERMANY AND BECAME A... GARGOYLE"
"C'MON CUB! YOU DO HAVE THE MONSTER BALL TOUR IN DVD, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING???"
"IT WAS AT 12 BUCKS, I HAD TO BUY IT!!! PLUS THAT'S A GOOD CONCERT, YOU KNOW I SAW THE BORN THIS WAY CONCERT ON YOUTUBE AND FELL ASLEEP, SHE ONLY HAD 30 HEAVY METAL OUFITS... THANK GOD I DID NOT BUY THE TICKET!!!"
"LOOK. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. YOU ARE TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME ONCE MORE AND NOW IT WON'T HAPPEN. YOU KNOW WHY??? CAUSE NOW I HAVE THE CONTROL, I HAVE THE POWER, I HAVE THE AUTHORITY... I AM PAIN!!!! HAHAAHA"
"OH HOW DARE YOU USE THAT WORD!!! HAHAHAHA"
"LOOK I'M JUST SAYING... THIS CUB DOES WHAT HE WANTS AND THEN HE THINKS THINGS WILL BE JUST LIKE THAT CAUSE NOBODY WOULD STRIKE BACK AND I SAY... I DON'T THINK SO! YOU REALLY THOUGHT YOU COULD PUBLISH THAT POST ABOUT JOCK LESSONS AND THERE WOULD BE NO CONSECUENCES, STUD MUFFIN, CHEESECAKE, HONEYBUNNY??? NO, NO, NO. THIS IS JUST... KARMA! SO YOU NOW JUST FACE IT AND GET REAL... WE ARE GETTING EVEN, EVEN STEVEN AND WE ARE MAKING A PERFECT SQUARE...!"
"SINCE WHEN U TALK FASTER THAN I???? MIKE..."
"NO CUB, I'M TAKING THE BULL BY ITS HORNS."
"SHIT!!!!"
"OR MAYBE I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TALK THAT FAST BUT... YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE... MAYBE... MAYBE... YOU DID NOT KNOW IT TILL NOW CAUSE YOU WERE... WATCHING... THE TRAILER!!! NOT THE MOOOVIEEEE!!! HOW'S THAT FEEL!!!"
"LIKE YOU COULD TRY TO RELAX AND REMEMBER WHAT WE LEARNED IN THE YOGA CLASS WE WENT TO???" SAID MY STUD TAKING OUT A LITTLE WHITE FLAG AND SHAKING IT IN THE AIR, LIKE IN CARTOONS.
"SO YOU SEE... THERE'S NOTHING SADISTIC IN MY BEHAVIOUR... I'M JUST BEING MASOCHIST. IS THAT CLEAR???"
"YEAH! CAN YOU SHUT UP KNOW, PLEASE?"
"NO YOU"
"AS YOUR BOYFRIEND. I COMMAND YOU. TO PLEASE SHUT UP!"
"FINE! VATER BRUDER SOHN!!!"
"AND YOU WON ALRIGHT?! YOU WON!!!"
"YOU JUST SAID IT"
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH
AWEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEE
