"WHO? WHAT???" I ASKED
"AT GYM! MIKE... AT GYM... DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT 3 TIMES, PLEASE SUGAR?"
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND. EXPLAIN PLEASE???" -.-'
"LOOK" SAID THE CUB "IT WAS LIKE A YEAR AGO. AND I TOLD YOU THIS GUY SEEMED TO HAVE A FASCINATION WITH ME AND YOU GOT ANGRY AND I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD TALK TO HIM AND NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN, THAT!!!"
"SOUNDS SO HUMBLE WHEN YOU SAY "I KNOW NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN". YOU'RE COCKY OR WHAT???"
"IT'S NOT IT. I JUST KNOW 10.000 DATING RULES, SO BY WHAT I SEE AND HEAR, I KNOW WHEN NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN, SO I DON'T WASTE TIME. THAT'S ALL. AND YOU DID NOT BELIEVE ME AND I TOLD YOU WE COULD BET MONEY AND YOU SAID "GO AHEAD!!! TALK TO THE GUY!!!" AND I INSISTED NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN!!! YOU GOT IT ALL AROUND, SERIOUSLY"
"WHAT????!!!!" O.o! THIS GUY'S GONNA MAKE ME GET BALD!!!
"LOOK. IT TOOK ME LIKE TWO WEEKS TO DECIDE I WOULD TALK TO HIM. THE THING IS, THE GUY WAS GOOD LOOKING AND A LITTLE BIT ABOVE GOOD LOOKING. I MEAN... IS, HE'S NOT DEAD..."
"YOU CUB!!!"
"LOOK, TAKE IT EASY. IT WAS LIKE THIS... I WAS MAKING MY GYM ROUTINE IN A CORNER OF THE GYM AND THIS GUY WAS GOOD LOOKING SO, LET'S SAY I LOOKED AT HIM ONCE OR TWICE. BUT HE NEVER GOES THE SAME DAYS OF THE WEEK OR AT THE SAME TIME. THAT'S ANOTHER REASON TO REALIZE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN, AS I DID NOT KNOW IF I WOULD EVER SEE HIM AGAIN!!!"
"YEAH, KEEP TALKIN' "
"WELL. I WAS AT THE CORNER OF THE GYM, AND THEN HE CAME ALL OF A SUDDEN WITH A LEEVELESS SHIRT. AND STARTED LIFTING WEIGHS FOR BICEPS... AT MY SIDE. THIS MEANS "INSIDE MY PERSONAL SPACE" SO I THOUGHT "WHAT THE HELL??? AND SOMETIMES HE WOULD LOOK AT ME AT SMILE, AND WINK. AND THEN HE STARTED LOOKING AT HIMSELF AND ME WHEN HE WAS LOOKING AT HIS SHAPED BODY AND HE WOULD SHOW HIS ARMPITS AND SMILE AND... I WAS WONDERING IF HE WAS OR NOT I.E...
---------------------------------------
·I.E.
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF WORLDWIDE MEANINGS:
"NOT DRUNK, NOT HIGH, NOT A SERIAL KILLER"
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...SO LOOKING AT HIS BEHAVIOUR I THOUGHT "YEEEAH. HE'S HIIIIGH!!!!". THEN HE MADE A CELL-PHONE CALL, AND BY THE WAY HE WAS TALKING I REALIZED HE WAS A ZERO IN THE KINSEY SCALE"
"REALLY??? HOW YOU KNEW THAT?"
"HE SAID "BEER" TOO MANY TIMES. SO AFTER TWO WEEKS I DECIDED TO TALK TO HIM, KNOWING NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN. ANYWAY ANYTIME HE GOES TO THE GYM AND I AM THERE, HE LOOKS AT ME WITH WILLING EYES. BUT WHEN I TALKED TO HIM, I KNEW NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN SO I WAS WONDERING HOW TO DO IT WITHOUT "EXPOSING HIM" YOU KNOW? SO THERE'S A SPACE SURROUNDED BY GLASS, WITH A GLASS DOOR, WHERE THEY MAKE AEROBIC EXERCISES. BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO GO TO THAT GYM ARE MEN, THIS MEANS THAT AEROBICS SPACE IS HARDLY EVER USED. SO HE WENT IN AND STARTED TO MAKE ABS WORK. AND I THOUGHT "WHY NOT?" SO I WENT INSIDE AND SUDDENLY I FELT AWKWARD..."
"YOU??? HA, GOOD JOKE CUB!!! GOOD JOKE!"
"AND I WAS LIKE "I TALK TO HIM, NOT, I'M INSIDE THE GLASS ROOM HE'S ALONE HE SAW ME GET IN, I'LL JUST ASK HIM" I THOUGH ALL THIS IN A FRACTION OF SECOND. AND I GOT NEAR HIM AND ASKED HIM "ARE YOU GAY?" HE SMILED AND GIGGLED AND SAID "NOPE", AND I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE AND I MADE ANOTHER QUESTION "AND BI?", HE SAID "NOPE" HE SMILED AGAIN AND GIGGLED MORE. SO I WENT OUT THE GLASS AEROBIC ROOM AND STARTED WORKING OUT NEAR THE GLASS ROOM FOR IF THE GUY WANTED TO TALK BACK. AND YOU KNOW WHAT???"
"NOTHING HAPPENNED!!!!"
"YES! WE SHOULD HAVE BET MONEY. ANYWAY."
"WHAT HAPPENNED LATER"
"WELL, I'VE SEEN HIM SOMETIMES AND I'VE HAD THE FUNNY IDEA OF TELLING HIM "HI, HOW ARE YOU????" WINKING AND ALL, BUT THEN I THINK AGAIN AND SAY "THAT IS JUST NOT COOL" BUT HE KEEPS LOOKING AT ME. ANYWAY..."
"YEAH YOU MALE POISON IVY..."
"AND THERE'S OTHER STORY"
"LET ME GUESS" I SAID "AT GYM TOO???"
"YES!!! AND YOU WON IN JEOPARDY!!!!"
"NOT FUNNY CUB!!!"
"NO, IT WAS NOT FUNNY"
"WHAT???"
"WELL THIS GUY I DID NOT KNOW HE EXISTED. AND AT GYM ONE DAY THIS GUY APPROACHED, BUT STAYED LIKE TWO METERS AWAY FROM ME, I MEAN, OUTSIDE MY PERSONAL SPACE (???) AND HE SAID "HOW'S YOUR ROUTINE? FINE? YOU LIKE WORKING OUT???" HE WAS SMILING. AND HE DIDN'T SAY DABADADDBABDDA IN THE MIDDLE SO I STARTED WONDERING IF HE WAS OR NOT "I.E.". MICHAEL LERKOFF... I GOT SO SCARED!!! AND THEN I SAID "FINE... WHY YOU ASK?" WITH A SURPRISED, CONFUSED, SCARED AND FULLY LACK OF TRUST LOOK. AND HE SAID SMILING AGAIN "NO, NOTHING. I JUST ASK, SO I'LL KNOW..." AND HE DID NOT SAY DDADBDBBDADADA IN THE MIDDLE AGAIN. SO I GOT TO THE CONCLUSION THAT... YES!!! HE WAS A SERIAL KILLER!"
"HAHAHAHAHA... AND THEN???"
"I EXAMINED HIS BEHAVIOUR FOR ONE DAY. AND I REALIZED HE WAS JUST A DUMBASS. AND I GOT TO THE CONCLUSION HE WAS NOT INTIMIDATED BY ME CAUSE HE DID NOT SEE THE REASONS TO BE INTIMIDATED."
"WHAAAAT????!!!!"
"THAT STUPID HE WAS. AND IF HE DID NOT SEE THE REASONS TO BE INTIMIDATED, BETTER STAY AWAY FROM HIM. YOU KNOW? THEN SOME TIME PASSED AND HE WAS WITH SOME FRIENDS AND THEY PUT THE SMARTPHONE WITH REGAETTON AND HE AND HIS FRIENDS STARTED TO DANCE LIKE DUMBASSES MAKING A STUPID CHOREOGRAPHY, MORE STUPID THAN THE GANGNAM STYLE, SO I SAID. NOPE. NEVER. BUT... I'LL JOKE WITH THE GUY. SO IF I SAW HIM I SMILED AND RAISED MY EYEBROWS AND WOULD SAY "HI, HOW ARE YOU???" TO JOKE AND GIVE HIM FALSE EXPECTATIONS. AND ONE DAY I WAS USING A MACHINE THAT IS DIFFICULT TO CONTROL WHEN THE WHEIGH DISKS FALL. SO IT SOUNDED, BUT I DID NOT HEAR AS I WAS LISTENING TO MY WALKMAN WITH THE EARPHONES ON. AND HE CAME AND SAID SOMETHING IN ANGRY TONE TO ME. AND I TOOK OUT ONE EARPHONE AND ASKED "WHAT YOU SAID???" CAUSE I DID NOT LISTEN. AND HE REALIZED HE HAD JUST PUT THE FOOT AND GAVE ME A SHORT AND LAME EXPLANATION TO TRY TO FIX WHAT HE COULDN'T. SO HE SAID IN A BAD EFFORT TO SOUND HUMBLE "NOOO, YOU KNOW??? IT'S JUST YOU LET THE WEIGHS FALL AND... WHEN THE DISKS FALL THEY MAKE SOUND AND THE MACHINE CAN... GLUP... GET BROKEN" SO I SAID "AH, ALRIGHT". NOW I DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM, AND HE PLAINLY ABOIDS ME BUT WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME I SEE IN HIS EYES HE'S THINKING "I SCREWED IT UP!!!". I NEVER WAS INTERESTED IN HIM, HE SCARED ME. THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY"
"INTERESTING. NOW I AM LESS AFFRAID OF YOUR GYM"
"YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER TO THAT???"
O.O!
SHIT!!!
I'M SCREWED!!!!!
